So far 2011 has been quite eventful. I spent the first two days in Bali/traveling and the came home to see a relationship end and a new school year begin. Its amazing how God can work in our lives so quickly and through such incredible ways. I would have never thought a week in a foreign land would bring so much clarity to my thoughts and so much boldness to my life.
As I have been processing through some of my thoughts on Bali, I have come to several realizations. First being, I really enjoy hanging out with myself. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love people! But I can and am perfectly content to spend time alone as well. Bali was a week in which for one of the first times I did what I wanted to do. I didn’t have anyone else to worry about and I didn’t feel bad for sleeping in or watching TV amidst the beautiful island. I met people and listened and learned and sorta accepted and settled into the fact that I very often choose the road less traveled and actually prefer it. One of these days I will find someone to journey that road with me, but it is not one many people choose to take. Its not safe or easy, it can be lonely and full of unanswered questions. But it is also full of adventure and excitement! It brings you to places of sharing a meal with a lawyer from Europe, a family from Australia, and a guy from France who is just living. It brings you to new experiences and new cultures and new places in your heart that you were unaware were there.
I also realized that so often my central struggle is this whole issue of trust. I just simply do not trust that there is a plan or that I could accomplish the plan or that, even if I don’t know the plan. there still is one. I am learning the hard way that when we take life into our hands, we simply make a mess of it and have to slink back into God’s arms and trust that He can turn our mess into His plan. And that no plan is not a bad thing. I don’t have to know the next step before I take it. Sometimes the answer is to just take a step into the dark and trust that God will keep your foot from falling into sinking sand.
Therefore, on that note, I have made a decision about what is next. Or rather, made a decision to trust God for what is next. I will tell you what it is in a few days once I have told those that need to be told rather than reading it on my blog.
Thanks for reading my dear blog friends…you are precious to me!
