I hit a wall this week and never knew I could cry so much. I have officially reached the “longest time being away from home” mark and it caused me much anguish. I don’t know why, I am really enjoying Saipan, but I really miss my family. The advancement of modern technology is amazing and I cherish the fact that I get to see and talk to them, but sometimes you just need a hug and those things don’t transfer so well through the computer. Not to mention there is stuff at work that just drives me crazy and while I am sure that is true of any job, I often expect more of my co-workers because we are all Christians who supposedly serve the same God. Thus once again, my expectations get in the way and I am disappointed. One of these days, I will learn how to let go of my expectations and simply be. I am working on that. My prayer all week has been that God would give me the eyes to be here. To love Saipan and my co-workers and my job and my time here. However, I used a lot of kleenex this week 🙂
and then comes Wednesday which is my favorite day of the week because it is Bible study day. I can honestly say I have never been so in love with meeting with a group of women each week. It is one of the top priorities of my week. As we were riding home last night, Anna and I were talking about just how different this study is than any we have ever done. I thought to myself, of course its different-we are on a small island and the women are as different as the colors of crayons in a box. Young and old, married and single, mothers, and daughters, teachers, and lawyers. But the biggest difference is something that has nothing to do with any of that. It is the fact that the longer we meet and the more cohesive the group gets, the more open and vulnerable we become. Never in my life have I felt more free to share my thoughts, fears, prayer requests, and struggles. It is a sacred time where who you are is all that is wanted. Not your fake face or your pretend perfection, but the messy you full of joys, regrets, hopes, and fears. I will miss them the most when I go home.
Now, you are probably wondering about the turtle. I hurt my knee and took the week off running last week. I then decided that not running probably partly led to my emotional breakdown and was finished with resting. My knee would just have to get over it because I need to run. My sanity depends on it. Therefore Monday, armed with ibuprofen, I went running. My knee was actually okay, but I am running at a turtle or maybe even snails pace. I am forcing myself to ease back in slowly. Today is Thursday and after two days of running the knee is starting to rebel again-but it is just going to have to get over it! I don’t think its anything too serious..or at least I hope its not! Medical care is lacking here so I just need it to heal.
Other than that, life is full of teaching, coaching cross country, running, biking, and eating. (I guess I shouldn’t complain since all of that is done by the beach, life isn’t too bad:) )
Miss you all!!
