Staring..

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Sometimes I look in the mirror
And the girl staring back at me
Is not the one I want to see
I see all the mistakes
All the broken promises
Commitments made and then forgotten

I see a life marred by sin
A girl who wants so hard to follow Christ
But gets so easily entangled in the world
And then wonders what went wrong
Determination that is deterred by others
Strength that is weakened in moments of indecision

And then I slowly crawl back into the arms of God
Pouring out my tears and fears and moments of regret
Knowing this is where I should have been all along
Instead of trying so hard on my own
And for one moment I truely see my sin as it is
Black and ugly

But it seems that just as quickly I crawl back out
I move on and go on my way
Forgetting the pain, regret, and brokenness
Back to staring in the mirror at a girl I never wanted to become
And forgetting that forever I am held
In the arms of One who loves me more then anyone

And regardless of what happens
His arms are always open
Full of love, forgiveness, and comfort
To gently push me forward and slowly help me
Become the girl I want to be
And become the girl He wants me to be

One thought on “Staring..

  1. I know exactly what you mean. I feel as thought most of my life has been spent staring and hoping that somehow by staring and thinking of what i wanted to become I could become it. but it didn't work and now I see that I needed to do the changing instead of staring. thank you for writing this.

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