?confused..again?

I think if you go to my archives somewhere I have a post entitled “?confused?”..but alas that is where I am once again. I don’t know what I am doing or what I want to do and most importantly what God wants me to do. Ever since I have graduated I have had this desire to get into youth ministry. I want to be a youth leader or a coach or something that gets me interacting with teens. I mean, I am still a teen myself, but I want them to realize how much of an impact what they are doing has on others and on themselves both now and in the future. And I am confused about college..am I making the right decision? I have seen God open the doors and close the doors, but it’s still hard to trust Him that going 4 hours away is right when I can hardly spend 3 days away from home. And there’s the whole growing up thing–part of me has had to grow up a lot this summer and be responsible which I hate. I feel like I have had to give up part of being a teenager and instantly jumped into being an adult. But I can’t make adult decisions–I can’t get married, I still have four years of college left, I have very little money in the bank….I am still a young person by a long shot…and none of the thoughts coming out of my head make any sense..they change every second and trying to explain them to anyone is futile..(why I am writing this I have no idea..)

so..my solution–I am going to be confused. I am not going to try to understand and explain what I think or think I want. I am going to keep praying and trusting God to help me sort it all out and know that in His timing it will all fall into place. And if I never know the reason behind it, that will be ok too. The future can wait..God’s given me today to make an impact and live for His glory and I intend to attempt to do that.