And if only we arrange our life in accordance with the principle which tells us that we must always trust in the difficult, then what now appears to us as the most alien will become our most intimate and trusted experience. How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.  –Rainer Maria Rilke

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12

This verse has been very clearly played out in my life lately. I am learning so much about prayer. Warfare prayer. About fighting. About rebuking. It’s hard. But God is good and I am growing. Perhaps painfully so, but nonetheless, being stretched and molded. I am learning to put on my armor. I am learning to give my burdens to God. and I am learning the lies and tactics Satan uses to keep us feeling defeated and prevent us from being the a powerful force to reckon with.

It’s tough. It’s been a rough few weeks. But God is faithful.

Yes-that’s a bold statement to make I realize. But I sat through an econ class this morning and listened to my professor and several classmates discuss the reality that there are no scientific facts to prove creationism and there are no scientific facts to disprove evolution. In other words, scientists are right in promoting evolution as fact and the truth and Christians are wrong for attempting to promote creationism and disprove evolution. It bothered me. Quite frankly, it angered me. But the anger wasn’t directed towards my professor. She is a highly educated individual who I respect greatly. I normally enjoy her classes. I would like to grill her brain about her knowledge in certain areas. Today though I got angry at Christians. Christians content to live in their bubble and be passionate only about church and “christian service.” Christians who will encourage someone to become a pastor or missionary, but fail to encourage the person who loves science because becoming a scientist isn’t as spiritual as becoming a missionary. Is there a need for missionaries? Of Course! How else will the world hear the Gospel? (Matthew 28:19-20)

But…

Where are the Christians in science? Where are the Christians in academia? Where are the Christians who are highly educated, Nobel Peace winners, professors, leading experts in their field? Why has evolution been allowed to permeate every aspect of our culture while Creation and Intelligent Design have been kicked out? I believe it is because we do not encourage Christians to go into science. We will let other people do that. We will let people who have no belief in our God become the experts. And once they are the experts, they can say whatever they want and people will believe them. They teach in our colleges and their viewpoints become the beliefs on my generation and the next. Thus my frustration at why is my desire to become a professor not considered as holy or spiritual as a decision to be a missionary? Isn’t being a missionary simply going to a mission field to share the message of Christ? And what bigger mission field that science or academia? Scholars, PhD professors, scientists, and the like tend to view Christians as uneducated and uninformed. They look at them as people who don’t know the facts so they cling to a religion. Which I believe is probably partly true. I don’t think as Christians we should isolate ourselves from what is going on around us. We need to learn the facts, study the science, and get involved. We need to encourage our young people to go into science and politics and perhaps even economics. (I am biased on that one 🙂 ) We need to become agents of change-promoting the Green Revolution, being informed on the economy, and becoming passionate about all areas of politics.

note: I do think we still need missionaries and pastors. But I think we should be careful about what we label as ministry or Christian service. I am preparing myself for a battlefield and mission field that is hostile towards Christians. and I truly believe that my desire to pursue Economics is spiritual in every sense of the word.

So classes started last week..and on Monday I had a minor freak out over what I was doing with my life. After being reassured by several people that I was not crazy nor was this the last time I would question why I was doing what I was doing, I came up with a plan for school. Mind you this plans includes taking an extra semester to graduate, it will set me up to be in the best position to do what I want to do. Go to graduate school and work towards a phD in Economics. While I was settled on school, I still had this nagging feeling that I had just made a terrible mistake and ruined God’s plan for my life by following what I wanted. I have prayed a lot about this plan and sought God’s direction, but for awhile felt that maybe this was just my dream. However, I am good at Economics and I love school. I understand the subject and don’t want to stop learning about it. I also love college students and really want to become a professor. This is not preparing me for an easy life as academia can be a dark place where Christians are not often welcomed because Christianity is not seen as intelligent. It is not seen as the thinking man’s religion. It is a career that will cause to be in the world and to have to put on my armor daily. But God has not called me to an easy life. He has placed a restlessness in my soul to seek the extraordinary and to fight for the impossible.

So on to my moment of clarity. We have been going through a series at church called The Truth Project. It is put on by Focus on the Family and I would definately reccommend it. Last night the topic was Economics and was the night I had been looking foward to since we started. ( I realize this makes me a nerd..) The speaker was explaining how work was designed by God and was created in the image of God. God worked and thus we must work. Genesis 2:2. He also pointed out that we should work where we are gifted. After much more eloquent words, it clicked. I was not crazy nor unbiblical for wanting to seek higher education in Economics. God has gifted me in this area and I feel called me to be a light in the dark world of universities. I Cor. 10:31 says, “whatever you do, do it for the glory of God.” Whatever you do. Not if you go into full-time ministry. Not if you become a missionary. But in whatever you do, glorify God. So once again I was at a crossroad of whether I am going to follow what I believe or follow what other people think I should believe. I have a passion for the subject and for the people I will be working with. I believe those things are God-given desires. I believe that pursuing this path is what I should be doing and I will continue to pursue it until God closes a door or opens a window. Maybe I am a little crazy-but God can work with crazy too 🙂

So I added this cool thing I found in my church bulletin. It’s called RefTagger. When you type a reference it allows the reader to scroll over and read the verse without going to a separate site.

Like John 10:10.

Let’s see if it works.

Amanda