I will never harm you. Open your heart, I have loved you from the start.

You know me so well | each and every part | so much better than i know myself | every layer of my heart | but it’s different with the world | i won’t let anyone come in | can’t let them know about my sin

‘cause what will the think of me | when they finally see | this little girl they know | doesn’t let her bruises show | what will the think of me | when they finally see | this little girl they know | doesn’t let her bruises show |what will they think of me

the pastor speaks | and i hang my head | so low i hope that | they will look at him instead | that man who left his wife and kids | so many years ago | no longer putting on a show | he’s let the congregation know

chorus

and who am i to think that i’m more righteous than the rest | that i might stand a little straighter when You put me to the test | i’m lying when i tell myself i have to be the best | that’s not what they expect

chorus

it’s not what they think | it’s how You think of me is

A beautiful love song written from God to us by one of my new favorite bands.. Connersvine.

It seems Your fixed forever
In a world so close to here
though I see you running from me
The more you run the more your near
Cause I was there in the beginning
And I will be there in the end
With a heart that’s beating for you
And a love that wants to mend

Can you feel my love arising
falling down from up above
Can you see my heart’s horizon
Can you feel my hunger love
When the world has left you lonely
and you’ve finally had enough
you’ll know my feet are running
running for my hunger love

Let me show you perfect passion
Let me take you far away
From a life without direction
Where you’ve played it safe
Welcome to the days of danger
Risk and security
Where love will change your nature
If you will just believe

Can you feel my love
Can you taste my love
Feel My love
Taste My love

So I am a crazy David Crowder fan! He is one of my all time favorite artists. Perhaps because I love to sing his songs on the top of my lungs when no one is around! 🙂 but anyways.. my current favorite song is You are my Joy. It’s a very simply song proclaiming that You (God) is my joy. Joy is a different emotion. We often equate it with happiness, but I think that is a poor definition of joy. One definition of Webster that I like is “a source or cause of delight.” So another way of singing You are my Joy would be to say You are my cause of delight! Even when the world is crashing down around me, I can have joy. I may not be happy, in fact I may be any of a million different emotions and none of them happy, but I can be joyful. I can have joy because I am finding my joy-my source of delight-in the Creator of the universe! It is found in the Son of God who died on the cross for me. And who in times of despair or happiness has provided a way for me to experience joy. And lately, joy has been rising from my soul! As the Psalmist says in Psalm 43:4, I will praise my God with Joy!! I am over half-way in my support raising efforts for Africa which is a huge reason to celebrate! But above that, my team has become a second family and I haven’t even met them yet. They are my prayer warriors, friends, confidantes, and sources of laughter and joy. I cannot wait to meet them. God has truly blessed my life and I can say with confidence in the good and the bad- YOU ARE MY JOY!!

If you haven’t heard the song, a link to listen is below! It’s amazing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAhdmfcVK9s

How can I keep from singing your praise
How can I ever say enough how amazing is your love
How can I keep from shouting your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I was singing at church the other night, and one of my friends told me later that I have a beautiful voice. I laughed it off cuz singing is not my cup of tea. God didn’t bless me with a beautiful voice..or so I think. But I am sitting here thinking about how much I want to sing! But not just to sing, I want to sing to God. I want to thank Him for this week..for the people in my life..regardless of whether I like them or not–each of them shapes me into more the woman of God He wants me to be. I am tired of being unhappy and not having joy. I am letting trivial things rob me of the true joy I could be experiencing and I am done. No one is going to take it from me. I am done letting drama, and gossip, and stress, and school, and boys take it away. No more! Yes, way easier said then done:) in fact, I am sure it will be a daily struggle, but it is one I am ready to attact full force!! So watch out!:)

Got a picture of you I carry in my heart
Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark
Got a memory of you I carry in my soul
I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold
If you asked me how I’m doin’ I’d say just fine But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind

Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you
After all this time you’re still with me it’s true
Somehow you remain locked so deep insideBaby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night
Thinkin’ you might call me if your dreams don’t turn out right
And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark
Wishin’ you were next to me, with your head against my heart
If you asked me how I’m doing I’d say just fine But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you
After all this time you’re still with me it’s true
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days
Seems it’s been forever that I’ve felt this way
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you
After all this time you’re still with me it’s true
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

You have my heart
And I am yours forever
You are my strength
God of grace and power

Everything you hold in your hand
Still you make time for me
I can’t understand

Praise you God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
And You never change God you remain
The holy of my unfailing love

This is my favorite song right now..I was listening to it tonight as I was sitting here almost in tears and I realized that no matter how much I think life is spinning out of control and how down I get-I have a God who loves me unfailingly..I think I just made up that word:) No matter what happens during the day..I have a safe haven and a place to go. I think the line that esp. stood out was “Still you make time for me”. I haven’t able to get ahold of my mom lately cuz she has been working so much and it really got to me today. I was really upset..not because I had something specific to tell her..but more because I just missed her. and while she doesn’t have all the time in the world for me..God does. No matter when-He will drop everything to listen to me! How awesome is that!! I also have to say that I have realized how blessed I am and how much I wish everyone else would realize how amazing God is! I love Him so much..and I can’t imagine life without that. I miss writing in this..life is insanely busy!! I am so thankful for God’s strength..that is seriously the only thing that is going to get my through this semester.

But I have a chemistry assignment to finish and turn in so I will write again later.

Amanda

Jesus Take the Wheel
Take it from my hands
cuz I can’t do this on my own,
I’m letting go
so, give me one more chance,
save me from this road I’m on
Jesus, Take the Wheel