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Grilled Cheese Only (A blog of reflection)
As a kid it was the norm that we could only eat out if the restaurant had grilled cheese. That was about the only thing I would eat. Oh and peanut butter. To say I was a picky eater was putting it lightly. Now I love my mom, but cooking is not one of her strengths which was fine by me because she could cook about five different meals and that was about all I would actually eat. (I am sure she could actually cook more than that, but again-I was a picky eater) This trend continued for most of my time living at home. And then I graduated and moved to college and one day just decided I wasn’t going to be a picky eater anymore. I am not sure what brought it on, except that I vaguely remember trying something I swore I hated and actually liking it. That was it. The turning point, which isn’t much of a turning point considering I don’t actually remember it. However, I did start trying new things and developing a liking for spicy foods and ethnic foods and well, food in general. I never really think much about it anymore because I will try pretty much anything once and I actually like a lot of different foods. It isn’t until someone points it out that I notice. So at work today we got free food from my favorite restaurant here. It was awesome. And part of the free food was humus. Which is one of my favorite things. I was sitting back in the kitchen during lunch and one of the other employees comes in and sees me eating it and goes, “You aren’t a picky eater are you?” to which I casually respond, “nope.” It wasn’t until after she left that I started thinking about not only that change, but some of the many changes I have gone through in the past several years.I suppose I am still me at the core, but sometimes I stare at a person in the mirror I hardly recognize. And after living abroad for a year and transitioning back home, some of those changes are becoming more and more apparent. Such as:
I love to try new things. This I suppose does not make me that unusual except that I am finding more and more that people are pretty content to go with life as usual. They eat at the same places, do the same things, have the same friends-none of which is bad, but I love to try new things. New food, new places to eat, new things to do, new adventures, meeting new people. I love it. It keeps life interesting. And now that I am land-locked in southern Indiana, I am going to have to be increasingly creative in my attempt to try new things and keep diversity in my life.
I have become a lot more open-minded. After traveling the world, spending way too many hours in airports, and spending holidays in exotic places like Bali, my mind has become like a sponge. I want to learn more and experience more and live more and see more. I feel like this whole new world was opened to me of cultures and ways of doing things and ways of thinking. Sure, I am still solid about my core, but so much of the fringe has become less important. I am becoming more free in my thinking. This I believe is a positive change. It allows me to interact with people I may have otherwise never talked to. It allows me to appreciate the beauty in others who are drastically different than me. And it keeps me grounded in a world that seems to be increasingly spinning out of control.
I am way more passionate about way bigger things. Talk to me for 15 minutes and I will probably bring up human trafficking. Give me a little longer and I will tell you about my friends in Africa living without electricity. Poverty. AIDS. Human trafficking. The environment. Sustainable resources. Shopping responsibly. Yep. All things that I am crazy passionate about. Some of them more than others, but get me going and man can I get fired up. I have always been a passionate person. I like this term better than drama queen. I tend to over-react I know, but it’s just because of all the passion inside. 🙂 I get so angry about the injustice in this world and I am devoted to fighting it every chance I get.
Lastly, I am starting to be able to define who I am as a person, what I want, and where I am going. This is giving me all kinds of confidence I have never really had. As I grow up, or attempt to do so without actually growing up, I am realizing more and more who I am and who I want to be. What I want people to see when they look at me and what I see when I look in the mirror. And let me tell you, the confidence factor is getting a major boost. I love my job, I love my friends, I love where I am (most of the time), I am getting rid of my glasses for good next week, and for the first time in a long time, seem to have conquered my evil foe Acne. All of that causes me to walk taller, stand straighter, and stop fading into the background. I know I have things to say, I know I am qualified and competent. And who cares that no one of the opposite gender has figured that out yet, I am who I want to be and I am where I am supposed to be and at the end of the day, I rang in 2011 in Bali with a triathlete I had never met and a physic who was double my age. Try to top that:)
So while I do still love grilled cheese, I would much rather go out for sushi. Or maybe Indian food.
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Lemon Shake-Ups, A Harley, and Jesus
Some dear friends of mine just bought a new house so Saturday night I went over to see it and see them. I hadn’t seen them in over a year, but we used to be neighbors and they are amazing people. Not to mention, she is an awesome cook! After chatting for a bit, we decided to head down to the riverfront where a friend of theirs has a little lemon-shake up stand. First of all, lemon shake-ups are quite possibly my favorite things in the entire world. That is the only thing that will ever entice me to go to a fair or street festival. And I love supporting people doing out-of-the box type of things. Like starting a lemon-shake-ups stand.
We got down there and bought our lemon shake-ups (which were amazing) and were standing there chatting. I am increasingly amazed at how blessed I am to have such wonderful friends in my life. Not only that, I am thankful for how uniting Christ can be. After chatting for a few minutes, one of my best friends walks by with a group of her friends from church. Our little party turned into a much bigger party. I have not ever seen a group of peopel so instantly mesh. It was like we had all been friends for years. We laughed, cried, prayed, and sang together for a long time. If you looked at our little group, we were as different as they come. In just about every way. Single, married, young, old, and a wide range of church affiliations involved. On top of that, we ran into a Harley rider who was one of the most on fire people I have met in a long time. He preached Jesus like it was his job. (which ironically it is all of our jobs, but still) I remember sitting there at one point thinking, this is how it is supposed to be. A group of seemingly random, un-related, and drastically different people coming together to encourage and support each other. In the middle of downtown. I made some amazing new friends. I connected with some amazing older friends. And in it all, realized that I am increasingly growing weary of so much of the bickering and agruing that goes on within the church. Christ commanded us to love our brothers and sisters in Christ and yet we pick fights, get involved in sticky and prideful church splits, and judge people because they don’t do this or do that. No wonder its so hard to get people interested in Jesus. We act nothing like Him most of the time. And yet, for two hours I saw Jesus. I saw him in a girl ministering through selling lemon shake-ups. I saw him in my friends who used to cook for me and who welcomed me home with excitement. I heard him in prayers, laughter, and conversations held between people that have little in common. And I saw him in the way in a few short minutes people lives’ were exposed to the gospel and to a group of people who lived like it was truly the best news you could ever hear.
This is how the body of Christ should function. This is how I want to function. I want to be a life that allows other people to see Jesus. Not see a church, a ministry, a brand. But one that displays the love and compassion of Christ. Because really, at the end of the day, that’s all that matters anyways.
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Being Brave Everyday
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Spend and Satisfy
And if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. Isaiah 58:10
Darkness cannot overtake light. Only light can overtake darkness. Think about it. When you walk into a dark room, you turn on a light and the light rids the room of darkness. The only way for the darkness to return is to remove the light-it cannot automatically return. We are living in a dark world. Poverty. Injustice. Death. Trafficking. The numbers are overwhelming. The statistics numbing. The stories heartbreaking. And in the midst of that darkness, we are called to be the light. Did you hear that?? We are called. WE. US. You and Me.
God is continually breaking my heart for the things that break His heart. The things that used to be so important are fading in the light of what God views as important. And last night, as I sat in a concert focused on fighting for the freedom of the captives, I realized once again how broken my heart truly is. And how quickly life gets busy and we get caught up in this or that and forget the passions inside. I have been so wrapped up in transitioning home and now moving again, I pushed aside the things that I am so passionate about. Partly because I didn’t know what I could do. I know God has a specific purpose for giving me the heart that He has given me. It is not a burden many can bear. It is not a heaviness that many share. And yet, I cannot imagine being wrapped up in anything less then the heart of God and His passion for the world. It is a broken place. It is dark. And in that, I am called to be the light. For now, that calling is not exactly playing out how I thought it would. I want to be on the front lines, fighting the oppressor and loving the opppressed. But right now, God has me in the background. And it is here that I am growing. That I am learning how to love. I am learning how to be loved. I am learning that freedom is given to me and that I need it just as desperately as the truly captive. And I am being ever reminded that God uses normal, everyday people to accomplish His plan. I do not have to be anything but willing. And willing am I ever. Isaiah 58 is my chapter. It is the chapter in the Bible that I have clung to the past two years of my life. Everytime I am discouraged or frustrated, I remind myself that this is my calling. To spend myself on behalf of the hungry. To satisfy the needs of the oppressed. To break the chains. To tear down walls. To love. And I don’t have to travel to Africa or Asia to do that. I can do that today, right now, with the people I normally see. I will never be the same. I have seen and I have been changed. But because of that, I feel God is calling me. And I don’t know how He will use it, but I am praying daily that He will use me. That I be counted worthy to carry His cross and message to a dying and broken world.
I truly believe that everyone should be free to live. Free to walk in the light. Free to eat and free to run and free to dance. I cannot and will not ever be content in a world where so many are robbed of life. In that, I have found that sometimes the only way I can contribute is to pray and give. While my heart is longing to go, I feel God calling me to patience. However in that waiting, I am not sitting still. And whether you are called to go or not, do something. Anything. Donate your money or your time. Shop more consciously. Love louder. Live bolder. Be the light that so many are seeking. Pray for your kingdom assignment. Pray for those in slavery. Pray for your heart. Pray for the church. Give hugs. Hang out with the homeless.
Lord, may we open our eyes to the things that break your heart. Give us boldness in our walk. May we spend our lives on behalf of the hungry. May we satisfy the needs of the oppressed. It is for freedom we were set free. Help us to live and walk in that freedom. Help us to extend grace and forgiveness to those around us. Help us to be freedom to those who need it. Help us to the light to a broken world. A world that desperately needs light. May darkness never have the final say. May children be able to laugh, run, and be kids. May we be aware. Change us. Change our hearts. May we be spent on behalf of the hungry, oppressed, trafficked, and poverty-stricken.
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The Next Step Is…
I should know to never get too settled or make too many long term plans. God always seems to keep me in limbo just long enough to doubt Him and then BOOM! There is a plan that happens so fast my head is spinning and my emotions are trying hard to keep up. Thus the past week of my life. One big whirlwind of emotions. I went from having no plan to having a very defined, long term plan. And the craziest part-its not one iota of what I thought the plan would be.
Go back 1o days ago or so. Its a Thursday night. Always on the lookout for the next step and a planner to the core, a friend randomly posted a job opening on his Facebook so I sent him a message. I honestly didn’t think anything would happen with it. Surely I was not qualifed, they had already filled it, or some other excuse would keep me from landing the job. However, within an hour he had sent me a reply and called me the next morning to set up an interview ASAP. Let me tell you something. The job was the exact type of job I was looking for. An administrative assistant. Yes, I realize that most young girls do not grow up dreaming to be admistrative assistants, but after a year as a teacher I knew that one, I was not cut out to work with kids, and two, I love numbers, details, and paperwork. I don’t plan on staying an assistant forever; eventually I want to move up the ranks in administration. But you have to start somewhere. Problem is with little experience working in an office, I was not the top candidate for any job I had thus far applied for. Especially in this market. After I hung up the phone with him, I danced down the hall, jumping and pumping my hands in the air. When I realized my co-workers were watching, I felt a little silly, but still I had an interview. And that’s all I needed. However, immediately after my victory dance, I realized that I had absolutely nothing to wear to this interview. Teaching on an island did not exactly expand my business professional wardrobe. So that night it was off to the mall I went in search of a business suit. This was Friday. My interview was Wednesday.
Tuesday night, business suit in tow, I packed up and drove to the interview. The job is located in Evansville. Not my ideal location, but I figured no harm in interviewing and it was a good excuse to go visit two of my best friends! I got up Wednesday morning, had breakfast with a girlfriend, donned my suit and pearls, and headed off for lunch with my friend and then the interview. I was super nervous. Although I don’t know why because at that point I wasn’t so sure I really wanted the job. See, the job was perfect, moving back to Evansville, on the other hand, was NOT in my plans. When I left there a year ago, it was for good. (or so I thought..) The interview started and about half-way through when I had only answered two questions, my potential boss goes, “Don’t worry, Caleb already talked you up so that’s why I am not asking a lot of questions.” We chatted a few more minutes and before I left the room, he offered me the job! Just like that. I was in shock. I was seriously speechless for a minute. I figured they would interview a few people and get back to me in a few days. To head home with an offer in tow was not what I was prepared for.
So now came the deliberation. This was not another short-term prospect. This was a full-time, 8-5, salaried position. And he wanted me to start ASAP. My initial enthusiasm was hampered by the thought that I was going to have to give up my adventurous spirit and settle down. Thank goodness I have some great friends and an awesome family that listened to me and utlimately talked me into the job. Although really, I had already decided I wanted to do it, I just needed a little extra confirmation that is was the right next step. Everything had worked out so perfectly; there is no way this not the hand of God. And I had been praying so hard for direction and peace and a job that I thought I could do for awhile. Ironically, while settling down was my biggest fear, it was also something I was craving. I have moved at least twice a year for the past six years. I am ready to stop doing that. And I not married or getting married or even dating so there was no limit to what I could do with my life. I could literally go anywhere and do anything, but when it came down it, this was perfect. And ironically, since then the few things that I had been pursuing have since gone cold and I haven’t heard anything from anyone.
So today is Wednesday. It was been exactly one week since I was offered a job, accepted a job, and changed the entire direction I thought my life was going. It has been a very emotional seven days. I am not sure if I am excited, nervous, sad, or happy. In six days, I will be back in Evansville, starting a brand new job, and looking for a place to live! What an adventure right? 🙂 Never a dull moment in my life, and of course, I had just finally gotten my last box unpacked from Saipan!
In one week, I will be an administrative assistant with Northwestern Mutual. I will have a desk, a business card, and an e-mail address. Its scary, overwhelming, sad, and exciting all in one breath. Saying good bye to my dear friends at home when I just said hello is certaintly not easy, but I know that this is the next step in life. And plus, I don’t intend on giving up any chance for some extra adventure and will have plenty to learn with my new job!
What about you? What’s new in your life? Any exciting changes coming up soon?
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Brutal, but Beautiful
Crash. Burn. Flounder. Flail.
That most accurately describes my transition back to life here in America. I don’t say home because well, I am not sure where home is anymore. More appropriately, I am realizing that home is not a place, but an idea and a sense of belonging to wherever you are. And of course, this world is only my temporary home thus it will never truly feel like home. But back to the transition.
I have learned a lot about myself over the past six weeks or so. Starting with, no matter how hard I try, I just do not transition well. I was determined after the fiasco of returning from Africa that this time would be different. This time I would come back perfect and normal and smoothly transition back to life. Ha Ha Ha. The only success I can say is that it has only taken me six weeks to get to this place whereas last time it took me six months. The only other previous major transition in my life was a cross-country move and that took me a year to get over so I am making progress. I am growing as a person and each transition has helped to shape me into the person I am today.
Unfortuately, the biggest hurdle to transition, I believe, is finding someone, anyone who is willing to let you flounder a little and realize that it is part of the process, and not a direct reflection of your feelings towards them. That my irriating habits are simply an outward expression a deeper inner struggle. That my clinging to random and odd things, my inability to explain myself, and my quiet silence is simply part of the process. It is part of the transition. Not the fun part, not the easy part, but the part that is often biggest. My family was gracious for the most part and I do not fault them for their inability to understand. In fact I am so very thankful for them and can say that they are one of the few reasons it has only taken me six weeks to finally feel like my feet are back underneath me. They have been there and have forgiven me and loved me despite it all. They are my family. Outside of my family I am very thankful for my few close girlfriends that listened to me, cried with me, laughed with me, and let me vent when I just needed an ear. Throughout the past six weeks, I have learned a lot about who I am as a person, what is important to me, and the value of forgiveness, love, and grace in relationships.
Life changes when you leave. People move forward and make new friends and establish new traditions and memories. And you do the same. I made new friends, experienced new things, made new memories, and spent a lot of time at the beach. Then all of a sudden you come back. And you aren’t the same and no one else is the same and relationships change. I believe it is then that you discover the true meaning of friendship. That you discover the people in your life that are permanement fixtures and the ones who were temporary. You find that some relationships you thought you could count on are the ones that leave you the most broken in your vulnerability and the ones that perhaps faded while you were apart are now back, stronger then ever. That you pick up the phone and it seems like you talked yesterday. Or that you pick up the phone and realize that you no longer have anything to talk about. That life has taken you different directions. In those moments, transition can be the most brutal and can also be the most beautiful. I got both ends of the spectrum. Less then a week after arriving, I lost the one relationship I thought I could count on. The one person that had been there throughout the last few months and who I felt I desperately needed in this time of transition. They, on the other hand, decided that indeed this was the time to break ties and leave me to my own. I was heartbroken, depressed, and felt more alone than I should have. For in the losing of one, I gained far more. I reconnected with several friends that I love more dearly then words can express. I was able to spend more time with my family and I learned that sometimes it is only through brokenness that we are truly made whole. It is often only in our darkest hour that we cry out Abba and we learn the love and tenderness only He can offer. I also learned that only in forgiveness can we ever move forward. I spent a lot of time assessing the relationships in my life and realized that the ones I truly valued were still right there and that I simply needed to forgive them and love them. That while my transition was difficult on myself, it was not easy on those around me either. So I placed all the pieces of a broken heart in the arms of the One who sees me as no one else does and let Him heal me. I forgave those around me who I felt had hurt me and decided to love and trust that God had a plan in all this. And I can say that today, the plan is starting to take shape. It scares me. Its new and unknown and nothing that I ever thought would happen, but it has all fallen into place so perfectly, I have to trust that it is right. And ironically, I knew that is how it would happen. I would settle in only to be unsettled again. God is teaching me the value of learning to accept and process change rather then fight, run, and argue with its necessity to life.
I will write more later on the specfics of the changes I have gone through, but for now I am thankful for the process. At times it was brutal, at times it was beautiful. And its not over. It is still a daily process. But each day gets easier and each day I am increasingly overwhelmed at the love and joy that surrounds me.
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Wedding Love
Well, my first attempt to blog again ended in my well-thought out post mysteriously disappearing. It was here and when I published it apparently it vanished. So try attempt #2.
I am back. And while this post may not be earth-shattering, I finally decided I needed to get back to writing. I love it so much, but just needed some time to process and adjust to life back at home.
Tis the season of weddings!! That handsome guy is my brother and the bride is my new sister!!—>
My little brother got married about three weeks ago. I got home just in time for the wedding to be getting into high gear. Between showers, rehearsals, and the actual wedding we were all a little busy. My little brother is so grown up-it seems like just yesterday we were running around as kiddos playing and picking on each other. I am sure I was not always the nicest big sister, but my little brother means the world to me. He is one of my favorite people and I will always see him as my little brother whom I love and admire so very much. His wife is pretty great too! I am very excited to have another girl in the family and to have a sister! They are home from their honeymoon and he is getting ready to leave for basic training for the Air Force so it is busy busy around here!
This past weekend my cousin got married. Her and I are closest in age on that side of the family-only nine months apart. We were really close as kids, but have drifted as we have grown older. Life just took us down different paths. But she is family and I love her!! It was such a blast being able to celebrate her special day. Her husband is a great guy and we had a blast dancing the night away. As I was dateless (a theme lately) I spent most of the night twirling the flower girl around. She was adorable! It was also wonderful to get to see a whole bunch of extended family that I haven’t seen in years!!! I realized how thankful I am for my family and how truly supportive they are! Everyone was anxious to hear of my year abroad.
Although after all this talk of love and newlyweds, I am learning the importance of being content and thankful for life experiences. While part of my wishes I were getting married, I know that everything happens in due time. And plus, I am pretty stoked about the next stage in life! (more on that later!) To my family-I love you guys!! To my bloggging friends-I am back!! The tranisition took a bit longer then I had hoped, but in the processing of it all I have content to write about for a very long time! And boy am I glad to be back to writing!
Until next time.. peace and love!
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See Ya Later
I HATE saying good-bye and I have done my fair share of it lately.
And I promised I would blog this week so while I am not sure how many people read this, I figured I should follow through.
Sadly this is not the post most were hoping for.
In the past two and a half weeks, my life has changed in almost every way imaginable. Some of those changes were anticipated, but some caught me completely off guard. They have all left me feeling very frustrated, overwhelmed, depressed, lonely, and often like an utter and complete failure. While I realize this is hard to understand, as I have been trying to process through all of it, I just haven’t felt like myself or like writing.
Thus for the time being I am saying see ya. Not good-bye, just see ya later! If you want to be the first to know when I am back at blogging sign up to get my updates or find me on Twitter. Until then best of luck and enjoy your summer. (although I hope to be back at writing long before summer is over!)
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The Longest Monday of My Life
Literally.
Thanks to the world being round, my Monday will officially last 38 hours. That is almost how much people work in a week, but instead of working 5 days, I will spend one very very long day traveling.
Here is how my 38 hour Monday will look:
Wake up 3:30am. Take quick shower and say good-bye to Anna. (probably a very tearful one!)
4:00am. Head to Saipan Airport. It will take me about 5 minutes to check in which leaves me 1 hr and 55 mins to sit in a tiny airport. Dumb airport regulations.
I will then spend the next 30 hours flying/sitting in airports to reach my final destination-Indiana!!
My stops will include Tokyo, San Francisco, and Minneapolis.
It will not be night for the entire 30 hours. Talk about weird. 30 hours of daytime.
Finally arrive home at 10:15 pm Monday. Same day that I left and by the clock only 16 hours later.
Waiting for me-my amazingly wonderful parents and my super awesome boyfriend 😉
Three words: BRING IT ON!
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Leaving without a Destination–or How I am Becoming a Risk Taker
Play it safe. Have a plan. Know what’s next. Stick to it.
Those have been my life mantras. I have always known what I am doing next. I have never quit a job without having another one. I have never left without knowing exactly where I was going and what I was going to be doing. I research, plan, and write down every detail about everything I do. I have just never been one for taking risks, for just showing up, or for enjoying the ride. I am always looking forward to what is next.
That is all about to change. In 4 days I am leaving Saipan with no destination. No plan. For once in my life I threw caution to the wind and said, “ah..I will figure it out later!” And you know something, its so exciting. Its not stressful (most of the time) and the planner in me is learning to take a break and chill out. The side of me that liked to play it safe is learning that there is excitement in not playing it safe. And you know the best part-I have become really bold in my new decision to leave without a destination. I have started to acknowledge the fact that I have a good bit of experience and I am a hard worker and quick learner and pretty passionate about a lot of issues that would make me an awesome candidate for some of these jobs that I would have previously never even given a second glance. I am starting to develop a confidence in the person God created me to be. Not that I can do it on my own, but that with Him it is all possible.
See, I have always struggled with self-esteem. I can always find you someone who is prettier, smarter, or more qualified for the job. And the reality is, that is true. We live in a world of 6 billion people. There is always going to be someone prettier, smarter, or more qualified. But I just made a decision. I decided that I was going to stop worrying about those people and live my life. I have fallen in love with adventure and living life loud. I have developed a huge passion for social justice. I LOVE the idea that we can make this world a better place. I will never give up on that. And because of that, I decided it was time I got off my butt and started doing my part. Because what if no one else does? Thus,
How to Become a Risk Taker 101
First, Pursue your dreams. For me that has meant that I have started applying to my dream jobs. Dream job #1: TOMS Shoes. I have traveled the world in their shoes and love what they stand for as a company. Plus, living in California wouldn’t be all bad either. I hear the weather is nice:) Dream job #2: Polaris Project Internship. Applying there when I get home. No one is going to give me a chance if I don’t apply and I know if someone would just give me a chance, I could wow them. In addition, I have started looking like crazy for ways to volunteer and get involved with the abolition of human trafficking. This is a huge burden on my heart and something I want to pursue with everything I am. We need modern day Harriet Tubmans-why can’t I fill those shoes?
Second, Set high goals. I set a huge goal for my Tread of Trafficking team. And while I am pretty sure it was too big a goal, it was for me a matter of getting out of that box. I never want to settle for the easy road. I want to be constantly pushing and challenging myself to think bigger! And when you are finished reading, go check out my team. $10 adds up quickly! I re-did my blog to hopefully get my voice out to more people, and whether that happens or not, I am going to keep writing because I LOVE to write. And when you love something, you have to do it whether anyone else pays attention or not!
Lastly, Enjoy the moment. I am learning to enjoy each and every minute. I am cherishing every second I have left in Saipan. I am spending as much time as I can at the beach and hanging with my friends. I am so excited to be home, but I am learning that I miss too many moments by focusing on what is next. I am taking advantage of every opportunity to take risks, gain experiences and adventures, and make new friends. I mean, I spent New Year’s at a concert in Bali..how awesome is that?!? And as I head home, I am going to live it up every single day and not worry so much about what is going to happen next. I can bet you that even if I knew, I wouldn’t believe it anyways.
What about you? What are some ways you have found to move from playing it safe to taking risks?
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I May Get Ex-Communicated
And while I hope that I do not, I have to write this. I have to say this because I spent a week ashamed at some of the things people do in the name of Christ. I have to write this because we live in a world where slavery will, more than likely, be the biggest global crime industry by the end of the year, and thus, we no longer have the time to worry about offending other people.
I recently heard a story of a young prostitute who escaped from her “life” in the industry and attempted to find help at four churches. Each church turned her away because of the way she was dressed. No one bothered to ask her about her story or offer her some more clothing, they just turned her away.
As I sat in my seat and listened, I was so angry I thought I was going to explode. Once the anger subsided, I was heartbroken. We are the Church. The Body of Christ. Called to be His hands and feet. And we have forgotten. We have forgotten that we are called to love, not judge. We are called to care and provide hope and healing. The same day I heard this story, I also had a conversation with a pastor who is running safe houses all across Southeast Asia that minister to girls rescued from trafficking. Do you know what he said was the answer to the abolition of the growing human trafficking industry?
The church.
And with my whole heart I want to believe him. We have the answer. We have resources. We have more then we could ever need or use. We are called and commanded to be the answer. And yet, I look around me and I see a church that has turned a blind eye and plugged its ears to the cries of the innocent. I see a church that is not only standing still in its fight, it is, sadly, sometimes involved in the very act of trafficking itself. I see a church way too involved in politics and business and worldly affairs; so involved it has forgotten that it was called and commanded to “love the least of these.”
Why? Why are we ignoring the facts? Why are we failing to encourage our members to become abolitionists, to fight for freedom, to educate against and eradicate an awful industry? Why have we forgotten our calling to care for those around us? We could do it. I strongly believe that. But I am afraid by the time the church believes that, it will be too late.
However, for today, I simply want to challenge your thinking about one word. Just one tiny word.
Prostitute
What immediately comes to your mind when you think of that word? I was curious so I asked some Christian friends of mine the following question.
In one to two sentences, tell me what you think of when you hear the word prostitute?
And here are the responses..
A broken human trying to get by and maybe even searching for love or worth, but like most of us, she’s looking in all the wrong places.
When I hear the word prostitute, I usually think of a drug addict that needs a fix, but that is just my experience with prostitutes.
I think of someone who has never been truly loved or affirmed or valued, and more likely, has been devalued (physically, mentally, emotionally, and more…) to a degree that most of us can’t even begin to grasp; someone, who has lost all hope, and out of desperation, seeks some sort of control of her life.
When I hear the word ‘prostitute’ I think of more than just someone having sex for money. I think of all of us (especially in the west) who whore ourselves out for money, sex, fame and power.
A prostitute is someone who sells him or herself for sexual pleasure of another person for money or other means of income. Most of them do not want to be doing what they are doing but something either through addictions or trafficking have forced prostitution to be their only choice.
When I hear the word prostitute, I think of a woman who is so lost that she feels her only option to survive is selling herself. I also think of a child in other countries who has been forced into prostition. It’s one big heartbreaking word.
When I hear the word prostitute I think of a slut with several STDs.
A victim.
A whore.
I can tell you with almost absolute certainty that no one, and I mean NO ONE, wakes up and has as their dream to sell their body for sex. No little girl rightly dreams of letting men use her for sex numerous times everyday. No one wakes up and thinks, “I want to sell myself today.” No one willing wants to be beaten and raped everyday. Are there prostitutes out there freely working in the industry of their own accord? Of course, it is a profitable industry and it pays a whole lot better then the counter job you could get at McDonalds. But I do not believe that scenario means that they want to be doing that-no matter what they may say.
This year 1.2 million people will be bought and sold all across the world. They will be forced into an international slave industry that is netting profits we can’t even imagine. And we walk by with a blind eye. We think only of our own ability to resist the temptation and never consider the deeper reality. We see –>”I even had an oriental woman solicit me for a “massage” not but a couple blocks from our apartment.” And we think–> “It just goes to show you how Satan tries to influence us through whatever we are involved in.” We look at the prostitute and we label her with words we wouldn’t utter in church. We despise what she is doing and what she stands for. We think we are better because we are not like that. We fail to see her as a daughter of Christ. And the most awful part is, we often glamorize the pimp. Think about how commonplace this word has become. “Pimp My Ride” anyone? And in fact, in courts, most often the pimps come out further ahead then the prostitute. The man responsible for the buying, selling, and brutality against women is the same guy our teens want to be like. They want to be “pimp.” And the sad reality is, according to one FBI special agent, “If you have adult prostitution going on in your area, you have child prostitution going on.”
John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
This is the Jesus I serve. The loving Savior that came to bring life. That loved all He came in contact with. What does Jesus think when He hears the word prostitute? He doesn’t think. He just loves. One of my favorite quotes comes from Shane Claiborne in his book The Irresistible Revolution. He writes of a conversation he had that went like this-
Friend: The amazing thing about Jesus is that he never talked to a prostitute.
Shane: Oh yeah he did. And I started whipping my Bible open.
Friend: No Jesus never talked to a prostitute because he never saw a prostitute. He saw a child who he was madly in love with.
This is to be our heart. It should never matter what a person is wearing, how many tattoos or piercings they have, or where they come from.
A recent study came out that surveyed prostitutes that had recently left their jobs. The results showed that 89% wanted to leave their lives of prostitution long before they did. 89% is enough to be a majority by any stastical study. And the 11% that didn’t probably have lost all hope that there is another choice, another life.
So my heart begs and pleads with you. See with Jesus’ eyes. See children He loves. See broken people in need of grace and love. See beyond the outside and the past and the current life. See the soul that is crying for rescue. And once you have seen, do something. Learn more. Get involved. Be the hands and feet we were called to be. And if you are unwilling or unable, please please stop giving a bad name to the ones of us who are.
National Human Trafficking Hotline 1-888-3737-888
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