I don’t know how I am going to survive this week..it’s 4:30 Monday and I am physically and emotionally drained and I have probably the most hectic week I have had since I came to college. Hopefully I will see you on the other side..

I am sitting here in our computer lab because I can’t get into my room..yeah, I know–weird concept huh? but oh well..that’s part of going to a public college. (for those of you completely lost, it’s ok..) Funny how life is sometimes..you get going on this major high and then all of a sudden it’s like crash and burn. Although I haven’t crashed and burned..I can see it in some of my friends and it saddens me greatly. And even in my own life, I can see areas where I have made compromises and done things that are definately in the gray area. But that’s part of growing up, the only thing is–you have to be able to realize your mistakes and correct them..not continue living in them. God calls us to a higher standard..He calls to be above reproach-to always have an answer for the hope in us–to be like Christ. But what happens when we lost sight of God-what happens when we lose that God-conscious attitude. We start to do things we never would have done..especially being college students-we don’t have authority constantly watching us and checking up on us. But we can never get away from God. Nothing we do is in secret. Yeah, parents, teachers, pastors etc. may never find out-but God knows. And we can’t hide forever–eventually our sin will find you out and our deeds done in the dark will come to the light. Being comfortable is not an excuse. No one knowing is not an excuse because even if no one ever finds out on this earth-someday we will have to give an account to God for every word spoken, every thought we had, and every deed we did. Kinda a scary thought huh? But more then that, it should be a motivating thought–A challenge to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and check every word before it leaves our tongue and question every action we do.

So much has happened lately and I have had zero time to write about any of it. As it is, I am doing this when I am supposed to be doing a language lab for my Spanish class and I should be studying for the huge test we have on Thursday. But no, I am writing in my blog because the poor thing has been neglected as of late.

As I wrote in my previous post, I am Greek! That’s right–I, Amanda, joined a sorority. Now, I know you are all automatically thinking horrible thoughts about me–but please don’t. Sororities are not all bad, in fact mine is amazing. Not only have I made some awesome friends, but I have found a whole new realm of ministry. God has already opened doors, and I know will continue to do so as the days turn into months. If you want to do anything, you can simply pray that I will keep my standards high and continue to reach out to the girls around me.

Besides joining a sorority, I have been busy with schoolwork and several other extra-curricular activities. Needless to say, I love college!! I live in a dorm which is so much fun–I can’t even begin to describe all the fun we have and even if I did, you all would be bored to death. My roommates are amazing–I love them and we have so much fun together!!

I know some of you are curious about my love life:) but we will just say, I am still single and have no idea what is going on right now. Perhaps sometime I will know and I will keep you all updated. I am enjoying hanging out with a huge variety of people and just having fun.

Spiritually, I am doing alright–I wouldn’t say things are great–having all this extra time has proved to be harder to deal with then I thought. You would think I would have so much to do my devotions, but I put them off and then am usually too tired to do them. But I am going to go buy a little bible and start doing them before class–I usually get there about 30 minutes early so I will have plenty of time. Although, while I haven’t spent as much time reading the bible, I have spent a lot more time praying. I am alone a lot-whether walking to class, or eating lunch, or driving and it has proved valuable for praying.

I am sure there is so much more I could talk about, but I really have to study! Talk to you later!

Amanda

To my fellow blogger friends, I am so sorry I have not written anything lately. Life got crazy and none of it was bloggable material. (I don’t even know if that is a word..but oh well) It has somewhat smoothed out.

So here I am in my third week of college! It is amazing!! Everyday I meet new people and make more friends and find that I am slowly getting a little less homesick and a little more excited about USI. Let me see if I can get you a little caught up on my life. I am not taking any exciting classes, all general ed. classes which are boring and perhaps easier then my highschool classes. (I must admit, my school did prepare me well for college) The biggest difference is I have so much more work, and so many other things that I can do which makes finding time to do homework a bit more difficult. But I am learning and building a routine. I stay up so late..getting to bed at midnight is early which is something I never thought I’d say.

I found an awesome church–it has been so nice to fellowship with a body of believers and to have a college class full of USI students! The number of people I know on campus seems to get bigger everyday.

I must admit though, I hate being a freshman. I will not be too sad when the day comes that I am no longer a frosh–it is just a feeling of inferioity and loneliness to a certain extent. Especially coming from being on top and having leadership roles in everything–it’s a humbling experience.

One thing I do love are the dorms! I live with the coolest people and no matter what time of day or night it is, you can always find someone to talk to. It’s great! And I was blessed to have a quiet dorm if you can believe that an all-freshman dorm can ever be quiet!! I might rush a sorority this weekend which would be fun and SURVIVOR STARTS ON THURSDAY! Def. the highlight of my week. oh and biology lab is the best:)

well, I will keep you all updated. Thanks for reading!

Amanda

That’s how the first few days of college have been! It’s stormed so much-the tornado alarm went off one night. It was crazy and it looks like it’s going to rain again. And then just a few minutes ago the fire alarm went off in our building so we all had to go sit on the sidewalk for twenty minutes cuz some kid burnt his popcorn and the firetrucks and security came..it was crazy!

Had my first day of classes today-it was alright. I like some of my profs, and some of them I don’t..but all in all it was a good day.. Now I am going to go work out and then dinner and then who knows..I have like three hours of math homework so I need to work on that.

Amanda

I am so sorry I haven’t posted anything serious in so long–so much has happened this summer and I haven’t felt like blogging about any of it. But I am sitting here delaying a much needed shower so I can blog some thoughts. (I ran through the pouring rain last night and was dripping wet by the time I got home so my hair is a mess:) )

I am off to college on Wednesday! I am so excited!! I honestly can’t wait to get away from here. Not that I am not going to miss my friends because I am..terribly. But I am looking forward to a fresh start and new adventures. I do wish God would be a bit more clear about the direction He wants my life to go in though. I am trying very hard to trust Him and listen to my parents, but it’s tough. They want me to be a nurse and that is a noble choice for a career. But I job shadowed one type of nurse and was bored out of my mind. Granted, there are many more things I could do, but I don’t know. I spent 4 hours last night watching that show 24–awesome–but I loved trying to figure out what was going on. I really would like to do something that requires some sort of deductive reasoning. Which is odd I know..and then part of me just hates when people tell me what to do. My mom at one point told me I couldn’t switch majors which put me into the rethinking my life mode. She has since changed her mind and said I could but still.

And then there’s the whole future question—who will I marry? That was has perplexed me a lot this summer. I got the marriage bug after looking for engagement rings for three hours:) And now I just want to get married. But life got complicated and I dumped my boyfriend and met some other people and now I just don’t know. I think I need to get away from here for awhile and give my thoughts some time to relax and trust God.

Cuz honestly-that’s what everything comes down to. What to major in, boyfriends, making friends at college–all of it comes down to simply giving God everything and trusting that He has such an amazing plan for my life, I can’t even begin to dream of it. II Peter 1:3 says, “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and Godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” How awesome is that! I have everything I need simply through my knowledge of God. Cool thought.

I got a new car!! I am so excited–after driving my lovely jeep for three years-I am finally getting something that goes over 85 and gets better gas mileage!!

It’s a 2000 Ford Focus-the hatchback one and it’s green!

more later..

I got it..the “I just want to get married” bug. For the past two days me and one of my friends have spent two hours looking at engagement rings! And I decided I just want to get married!! Or actually, I just want a big rock on my finger:) just kidding..but in all reality I have caught the bug..

on a different note, I will be back to blogging soon..life took some unexpected turns and my thougts aren’t coherent enough to blog about yet..

love ya all
amanda

I think if you go to my archives somewhere I have a post entitled “?confused?”..but alas that is where I am once again. I don’t know what I am doing or what I want to do and most importantly what God wants me to do. Ever since I have graduated I have had this desire to get into youth ministry. I want to be a youth leader or a coach or something that gets me interacting with teens. I mean, I am still a teen myself, but I want them to realize how much of an impact what they are doing has on others and on themselves both now and in the future. And I am confused about college..am I making the right decision? I have seen God open the doors and close the doors, but it’s still hard to trust Him that going 4 hours away is right when I can hardly spend 3 days away from home. And there’s the whole growing up thing–part of me has had to grow up a lot this summer and be responsible which I hate. I feel like I have had to give up part of being a teenager and instantly jumped into being an adult. But I can’t make adult decisions–I can’t get married, I still have four years of college left, I have very little money in the bank….I am still a young person by a long shot…and none of the thoughts coming out of my head make any sense..they change every second and trying to explain them to anyone is futile..(why I am writing this I have no idea..)

so..my solution–I am going to be confused. I am not going to try to understand and explain what I think or think I want. I am going to keep praying and trusting God to help me sort it all out and know that in His timing it will all fall into place. And if I never know the reason behind it, that will be ok too. The future can wait..God’s given me today to make an impact and live for His glory and I intend to attempt to do that.

Life had to be simpler. And easier to work on things like patience. When we didn’t have cell phones and e-mail and you couldn’t get ahold of someone it was ok. You just left a message or waited until they got home. Now if you can’t reach someone you get irritated, impatient, and in my case, mad at them. Is it really their fault that even though they are reachable through cell phone, e-mail, and phone that I can’t reach them? And why is it so important that I talk to them. Does it show my dependence on others? And my lack of dependence on God..YES. I want that human contact-I want to talk to that person who will audibly answer me back. And when they are unreachable I get frustrated, angry, and lonely. Yet, so often I fail to turn to the God who holds me in His hands. The God who knows more about me then anyone in this world, and has every step of my life already planned out. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about my life and I can see a common thread–lack of dependence on God and too much dependence on others. And humans fail..they aren’t always available. Sometimes they are tired, busy, selfish etc. But God isn’t like that. He is always available! And as I laid in my bed last night with tears in my eyes, I could do nothing else but pour out my heart to God for no human was around to see or hear me. And it was at that moment that I found my strength and the peace to calm me. How awesome that we serve a God like that!