The Passion of the Christ

Very few times in my life have I seen a movie that was so moving, so painful to watch, and so frustrating all at the same time. Never can I remember crying so hard during a movie. Hollywood has created a lot of movies that were bloody and graphic, but this one was real. My savior actually went through that, and the actual extent of His pain and agony could never be captured on the big screen. If you haven’t see the movie, stop reading here! If you have seen the movie, or care to listen to me talk about it, continue on. There were two things that really stuck out in my mind, well..ok, the whole movie stuck out in my mind, but two parts that I think especially struck me. One was when Peter denies Christ. It’s a part of the story we are all familiar with, yet I think it is often overlooked. Peter is watching Christ get beat for no reason, questioned and lied about, and yet he still denies Christ. And here we are 3000 years later, with a story in the bible and we think that gives us some excuse for denying Christ. But it doesn’t.. I think the part perhaps that made me take a hard look at my life was three little words Christ says on the cross. He’s hanging up there and He says, “Father, forgive them..” Now after watching everything they put Christ through..the beating, the scourging, nailing Him to the cross, laughing at Him and so on, it was hard to hear Him say forgive them. If that had been me, I probably would have commanded fire to come down and burn them to ashes. But not Christ. How often do I refuse to forgive people? How often do I treat others unkindly and unlovingly? It all seems so trivial and meaningless. Nothing anyone could do to me could ever compare with what Christ did for me. The things I get mad over pale in comparasion with Christ’s suffering. I wish I could say that reading the story in the bible had as great an affect on my life, but sadly we live in a culture that thrives on seeing things. While this is a movie I could probably never watch again, it will never be forgotten. It put a picture in my mind so horrific and so grotesque, I will never forget. Isaiah 53:5 says, “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.” My sin nailed Him the the cross, and His sacrifice paid my debt. Giving Him my whole life and living to worship Him should be natural responses to the gift that has been given to me. I hope and pray that we never get so much in the daily, mundane routine that we let this story lose it’s meaning and it’s power. It is awesome! And we’ve got the book-we can read it any time we want.

Ah..Life..

It seems like it’s a never-ending roller-coaster. Sometimes it’s great, and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes I feel like I’m on top of the hill, and sometimes I feel like I’m free-falling. But you know something I have become increasingly thankful for-first of all my relationship with God. He’s always been the solid ground in my life. And my friends who seems to be constant. You know, those people who you can always count on. God has blessed me with several of them, and I am so thankful for them. But He has also shown me that I shouldn’t place my faith in them, because even though it may seem like they are always there, people will fail. However, God is always there. And He’s the safety belt keeping me inside the coaster car so I don’t go hurtling off into space at a million miles an hour. And Hes the strength I need to make it through every day, which sometimes seems like an impossible task. I don’t have a bible, but I was going to write a verse from Psalm 139..but I will write it later!

A Little Blessing From God..

Tonight we had the Jeff Choirs at our church for a religious arts festival. I went, although at first my soul motive was the fact that I’m in SMITE. However, I am so glad I went. This has perhaps been one of the worst weeks of my life, but last night I sat on my floor and cried out to God..and this morning, I woke up with a peace I haven’t known in a long time. It was as if He was saying..it’s going to be ok, I have a bigger plan for you. We had an amazing church service today, the pastor from Romania spoke on being a real Christian. It was really good..but back to what I started with. So I walked into the gym before everything started, and while I was standing their talking with my friend, looked up and saw one of my best friends from sixth grade. We’ve kinda kept in touch and usually see each other about once or twice a year. After a hug, we chatted about life the past year. It was really neat-God knew I needed something to brighten up my day, and it was like a gift with a big bow on it! It will probably be another year or so before I see them again, but they are the type of person that you just don’t forget. And one that is always a joy to see!!

Philippians 1:27a

“Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.”

Philippians 2:2-3

“Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility of mind consider others better then yourselves.”

I read these verses in my devotions and they were in a sense a slap in the face. I am only held accountable for my actions and only have the power to control what I do and say. Although sometimes, it is necessary to confront, ultimately, I am only accountable to God for my actions. I am responsible to conduct myself in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. I am called to show the world I have something amazing, and yet too often, I get caught up fighting with the people on my team. Instead of uniting to win lost souls, we bicker and ruin relationships among our Christian circles. Instead of encouraging growth, we always say, well, you could be doing more. But God once again has brought me to a place of being broken and utterly empty. He has once again shown me that I only mess things up when I act against His will and try to do things on my own. He has shown me the way it is supposed to be. So here I am, once again, on my knees before my master. In awe of the amazing price He paid and ultimate example of love He has shown me. I am so thankful that even in my sin, even when I mess up-His blood covers me. He forgives me and sends my sin as far as the east is from the west. And although the human eyes watching me may never forgive me or forget my past faults..my Savior has. How comforting that is! Hebrews tell us that we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize in our weaknesses, but one who was tempted in all things. He faced rejection, loneliness, extreme pain, temporary loss of a heavenly home-all for me. And although I often feel utterly alone, I am constantly reminded of God’s love for me. It is amazing and never ending.

Be Intolerant

Yes, that’s what I said. Be Intolerant. But not only of the things we know are wrong and are convinced we would never do, but of the things that are wrong and we do on a daily basis. Be intolerant of your friends who gossip. Be intolerant of locker-room talk, be intolerant of disrespect. Be intolerant of those who talk after being told not. And make sure you aren’t the one commiting those offenses. I’m reading a book entitled Be Intolerant. And although I go to a Christian school, I have realized how tolerant I am. How little I stand up for what’s right, and how often I am the one gossiping or talking in class. I have often though because I agreed with God on things such as abortion, homosexuality, liberalism, and other such things that I was intolerant, or at least that I wasn’t tolerant. but more and more I am realizing it goes much farther then that. I also have realized that this idea is foreign and not highly acceptable even among my Christian friends. I wonder what would happen if I said to one of the my friends, “hey, stop talking about that.” Wait, I think I know what would happen-they would stare at me as though I was a freak, and probably then ask me what authority I had to tell them that. Or they would throw up some mistake I made, some sin I had committed, or perhaps they wouldn’t say anything, but think that I all of sudden had this prideful, holier-than-thou attitude. Sometimes I look at my own life, and I think, “I call myself a Christian, but so often my actions contradict themselves.” So perhaps will I try standing up for what’s right. Perhaps my friends will realize that I’m not trying to act like I’m some super-holy Christian, because I’m not. I’m just like them, I’m just trying to make it in this world, and looking forward to the next. Heaven is going to be amazing. And earth is our preparation.

I’m sorry my blogs are mostly of the serious nature..I haven’t figured out quite why they are..but I will try and put some lighter ones on here in the midst of the rest. Life has had some weird twists and turns lately..I think God is trying to get my attention and it’s working. Although there are still so many times I let my selfish desires get the best of me. I must tell you, my heart is sad to see those around me who are or appear to be hurting..it has caused much heaviness to come over me. I am so thankful for the verses that talk about taking Christ’s yoke for His burden is light and His yoke is easy. I appreciate those in my life who have been an encouragement and brought smiles to my face-your friendship is much loved and treasured. You will never know how much your smiles or a smile hi have brightened my day. God never promised us the Christian walk would be easy..and I can vouch that it is not..but it is very rewarding. And someday, the ultimate prize of heaven will be our reward. I must say, admist the weird and sometimes frustrating parts of my life..I do love it! I love my school and my church..my friends and my family..and most of all my God! Keep pressing on toward the prize, the upward calling of Christ Jesus! I love you all!

Confused..

Have you ever been confused? I mean, like not knowing what was right or what was wrong. Perhaps you have had this feeling in math, or spanish. Or perhaps you have been confused about life..which way to go, who to believe, who to trust. It is an awful feeling..making you want to stand up and scream-“Someone show me the right way, someone prove I can trust you” and yet even if you did, no one would hear you. Perhaps, you have been confused about the state of a relationship..maybe things were ok, but now they aren’t speaking to you. Or there is a weird barrier there, that was once gone. Sometimes it seems like my life is spinng out of control-plummeting towards rock bottom faster then the speed of light. Sometimes I can’t compute the things in my head that are going on nor can I find a way to weed through. It’s as though a thick fog has settled, not allowing the travler to go any further. You could go in circles and never know it. Did you know God offers us a whole book to light the way. Proverbs 3:6b says, “..In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will guide your paths.” Jer.29:11 talks about the Lord knowing the plans for us. and there are numerous others. His whole word was given as an instruction for us..a guidebook to live this life. I am convinced that the times in my life, such as now, when I feel utterly confused, are the times i have lost sight of the goal and lost sight of my master and creator. They are the times I have not been as faithful in my bible reading, and when you put down the guidebook for life, it is very easy to get lost and end up confused. But “the righteous man falleth 7 times and gets back up” so, I am too getting back up..picking up the pieces and giving the mistakes back over to God. I’m tired of being confused-I am willing to go His direction and let His lamp light my path. I hope that you will too..confusion is an awful state to live on..and God is the God of peace..ready and open to give you anything you need.