In the crazy, busy, over-committed, and hyper media world we live in, I think we have lost the value in presence.  The dictionary defines it as “the state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place or thing.”  We might call it just being there.  I think for many of us we get too wrapped up in life and we forget sometimes the thing people need the most is just us.  They just need us to sit and listen or invite us into the craziness.  I have this dear friend who used to just let me come over and hang out.  She never cleaned her house or re-arranged her schedule for me, she just said I could come over. And I would sit on her couch or on her floor and chat and play with her kids and change dirty diapers. She poured more into my life than so many people and her example left a permanent imprint on me. She was simply there.

Trust me, I could be the first to come up with a million excuses why this is tough and I know we all have priorities and families and there is only so much time in a day, but lately, I have been taking a hard look at my planner and really evaluating how I am spending my time. Am I creating space and time to just be there for those in my life? This point has been impressed on me so strongly lately because I have spent some time just hanging out in a very unlikely place.

Twice a month, I sit at a tall table with two of my dear friends and we just exist. In a place very few in our shoes would willingly venture.  In the dark corners of a strip club we just hang out.  And I am learning the only thing I have to do is just show up.  I don’t have to dress up or have the perfect hair. I don’t have to have my life together or have the right words to say. All I have to do is sit on that chair.  And something about just being there communicates more than 1,000 thoughts or dollars or insults ever could.  Honestly, most of the time we walk away and have barely said more than a few words.  And I am learning the point is not the words you say or the location, the point is you showed up. And you keep showing up.  Your presence communicates 1,000 things before you even open your mouth.

So let’s all work on showing up, being there, and inviting others into our lives. How amazing we can go to Christ with all our mess, why shouldn’t we be able to go to each other as well?

We have been singing a song at church I absolutely love. The lyrics have become my theme song over the last several weeks. This is the bridge…

You make me brave
You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the love that made a way

I will be the first to admit, at times I can be a bit of an adrenaline junkie, but typically only if it involves things like jumping out of planes or running far. As much as I love the high you experience after a rush of adrenaline, I have struggled with deep fear a lot of my adult life. Fear of the unknown, fear of what people will think, fear of silly things like elevators and murky water. The struggle with fear has caused 2 Timothy 1:7 to be seared into my brain:

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

And yet, for some reason, in a moment of bravery, I jumped headlong into a ministry which requires a lot of boldness.  Ironically, the things I should probably be afraid of have not scared me in the least.  I feel as though God has given me a sense of boldness and peace and love, confirmation this was the direction I was supposed to go. I have also prayed harder than I really ever remember praying. It is like my pastor said, you don’t have to ask people on mission if they are praying, it’s a given.  

So Sunday as we sang “You make me brave” at least 50 times, I was reminded again it is not about me. It is not my bravery. It is not my love. It is not my passion.  The truth is, I am not brave. I am the girl who would rather hide in the corner. I am the one who has to take a deep breath every time I get in an elevator. And I am the one who is brave because He has made me brave. I can love with Jesus’ love. Not my own which is imperfect, faulty, and treacherous. I can go into the dark because I carry the light.  And I can be confident and bold because I know He who has overcome the world is in me.

If you want to learn more, check out The Hadassah Group.

What an amazing two days!!!  I am ready to tackle some big dreams and move forward on a big vision. The Global Leadership Summit never fails to bring advice, wisdom, and practical tools to move forward and grow in your leadership. Next year-don’t miss it!

My three big takeaways from today are:

1. Hard conversations do not have to equal broken relationships, they can lead to intimacy
2. Remember-the message is sacred, the method is not. Stand in the Gap!
3. Christ is enough to fulfill all He has called me to do

Joseph Grenny-Mastering the Art of Crucial Conversations

• The power of the group is a function of the purity of its motives
  
• Are there a few moments of disproportionate influence?
• Anytime you find yourself stuck, stop and ask: What crucial conversation are we not holding or not holding well?
• Best way to avoid crucial conversations is to have a meaningless life
• When conversations turn from casual to crucial the irony is that when it matters most, we tend to do our worst
• There is a God-ordained purpose for crucial conversations
• You can talk it out or you can act it out
• Crucial conversations are either a pit or a path
• Crucial conversations can become an acceleration of intimacy
• Focus on the crucial conversations and have them become the path, not the pit
• The vital behavior that enables most any positive organizational outcome is candor at moments of acute emotional and political risk
• Human connection accelerates our growth as human beings
• People never get defensive about what you’re saying, they become defensive because of why they think you’re saying it
• The myth that we can’t tell the truth and keep a friend is at the heart at what keeps us from achieving our potential

Erica Ariel Fox- Winning from Within

• We get in our way and we miss out on some of life’s most meaningful opportunities because we can’t negotiate with ourselves
  
• Have you ever said yes when you wanted to say no?
• A developmental path for a leader is to identify your key and consistent performance gap and systematically close them so there isn’t a difference between how you love and lead and how you could do it at your best
• When we look at scans of your brain each one of you is more like an orchestra than a soloist
• Look for the dream beneath the dream
• Is there a dream in me that I have left behind?
• Can you articulate a business case for the morally correct action you hope to bring about?
• It is much more difficult to lead effectively if people feel like every interaction I have with you is a transaction
• Sometimes telling a hard truth and telling it lovingly is the right thing to do
• Find some places in your life where you are saying yes today and start saying thanks, but no

Don Flow- A Grander Vision

• Work is place that Christ has called me to
  
• Leaders must be truthful and graceful
• Seek the good of others before we seek the good of ourselves
• The culture of an organization is a powerful current that shapes the lives of people in it
• We can re-weave the frayed fabric of our world into the beautiful tapestry it was meant to be
• A person has intrinsic dignity and value regardless of what they do
• In our company there are no little people or insignificant people
• Confident challenge without confidence creates fear, but challenge without confidence creates complacency
• The world will not form distinctive Christians

Allen Catherine Kagina- A Grander Vision

• I was naïve enough to believe that God could change anything
  
• God doesn’t know the division between church and business or church and politics
• You are anointed for what you do
• We have so many resources, we just need to get the people to do the right thing
• If we invite the kingdom of God to where we are in the public area, I believe that God will take over and we will begin to see better societies

Wilfredo De Jesus- A Grander Vision

• Prayer is necessary, Prayer is a weapon, But we cannot allow prayer to be a crutch not to do anything
  
• You cannot let your budget dictate your faith
• Once the moral condition has been revealed to you, we must move to action
• Who will stand in the gap?
• We must engage our community
• We must do what Jesus did, He sat with the lost, He ate with the lost
• Fear is the absence of faith
• For me what is sacred is the message, not the method!
• We must not be afraid to take our faith into the communities
• How many leaders have been in the huddle for 5 years? When is it that we are going to call break and do what we are going to do and fill the gap
• You have to be willing to sacrifice
• Whenever you decide to stand in the gap, you are going to face strong opposition, but God is with you-who can be against you?

Ivan Satyavrata- The Power Paradox

• Power is simply the potential or ability to move reality-to make something happen
• There is no such thing as leadership without power
•  A leader must have power and humility
• The whisper of God will grow into a crescendo so everyone in the world can hear God’s voice
• Jesus holds a scepter in one hand and a towel and basin in the other
• A leader’s power in their ability to influence people
• Leaders wake up asking, “How can I use my power to make the world a better place today?”
• The greatest gift you can give to your followers is to create the ultimate safe place for them so they can soar
• How do we apply the message of Christ to the million of acts of injustice that occur every hour on our planet?
• Do not withhold good from those who it is due when it is within your power to act
• Leaders use kingdom power to carve out opportunities in the face of daunting opposition
• I don’t have to be a Christian terminator who wipes out all evil from planet Earth
• The true secret of any great leaders’ power is that when you feel the weakest that is when you are really the strongest
• Leaders recognize that power comes from God and is a sacred trust to be used to build up, not to destroy

Tyler Perry- When Leadership Meets Inspiration

• Clear the noise. Clear the clutter. Clear the naysayers
• Sometimes I pass up the qualified with the wrong attitude, for the less qualified with the right attitude
• God doesn’t make any mistakes
• It takes an enormous amount of energy to get through abuse/betrayal, but it takes the same amount of energy to forgive the wrongdoer
• It’s not just about making them laugh, use the laughter as anesthesia to get to the heart of the matter
• Don’t judge, but for the grace of God, it could be one of us
• The feast is prepared in the presence of my enemies so watch me eat!
• Rather than focus on the critic, focus on the people impacted by your work

Louie Giglio- Closing

• All the glory goes to God, honor goes to people
  
• We are going to leave this place and do what God has called us to do
• What is your mountain?
• There is enough supply from God in your life to make it to the summit
• Sometimes you just don’t know what to do
• The stakes are too high to die with a small vision
• I want to improve the situation for every person possible
• Life is short, but God is big
• You get up the mountain one step at a time
• God’s power is sufficient enough to take the very next step He is asking us to take
• When it looks like everything has gone off the rails, embrace the darkness because God is preparing you for a greater role in His story
• You can, but you can’t
• We rest because what we do depends on God, not on us
• Humility is the by-product of being with Jesus
• Take the next step
• Don’t stop walking in the confidence that Christ is enough to fulfill everything He has called you to do

Excuse me while I rant for a minute. On social medial, about social media (ironic I suppose).  I have a love-hate relationship with the entirety of social media. I use my Facebook to communicate, keep track of the friends I have literally all over the world, and support some causes very near to my heart. However, most days I hate how people use social media to proclaim their thoughts or beliefs on something. As if social media wasn’t impersonal enough, we now feel the need to share a blog post condemning the entire race of humanity (maybe a slight exaggeration).

Bloggers, we are partly at fault for this over-sharing.  As soon as something hits mainstream media, Christian and non-Christian bloggers alike rush to their screens to publish their monologue of thoughts, opinions, and sometimes even scripture to back up their side of the story.  Then we encourage our readers to tweet, share, and like our post, causing the words we write to spiral through the social media universe. (sometimes I wish this would happen to my blogs, but that is a different story)  My heart breaks at some the blogs I see shared on my newsfeed. While I want to believe in my heart my Facebook friends are well-meaning, I often want to shake them by the shoulders and say, “Stop sharing and go buy someone a cup of coffee!”

This week my frustration has reached a boiling point as I have read and seen countless examples of Christians responding with hate and judgment to tender, heart-breaking situations.  I sent one of my dear friends a text and said, “I hate that I claim to serve the same God they claim to serve.” My heart breaks for the broken, the hurting, and those who are silently suffering.  It also breaks for the people in my life who seem to have forgotten our mandate was to “love God and love others.”  It is not complicated. It does not require arguing the nuances of the Bible. It is simple.

So today, before you hit share on that article, stop and put on your critical thinking hat. Take a minute to ask yourself, “Is this showing love to my neighbor (or Facebook friend or random stranger who may read it)?”  And better yet, turn off your Facebook and go to the nearest Starbucks and buy someone a cup of coffee.  Or pay for someone’s lunch. Or make your neighbor cookies.  Take the hard step of doing something, not just clicking the share button.  If we all did that, this world would be a better place.

While I was working on my master’s degree, I had to interview and write a paper on a local individual I considered a leader.  After much debate, I interviewed a leader I had actually never met, but someone who I respected from a distance.  As I sat and listened to him, I realized why I was so impressed with his leadership-at his core, he was just a regular guy with big dreams and a big heart.

At this point, I don’t remember much of the conversation, although I have it recorded somewhere I think, but I do remember one thing he told me when he is looking for leadership qualities in those around him.

He said he notices whether they pick up trash.

He said if he sees them walk down the hall and ignore the trash on the floor, he has a slightly lower opinion of their leadership skills.   This thought has played over and over in my mind throughout the past two years as I have gotten more involved in the community and stepped into different leadership roles.  I think one of the reasons it stands out to me so much is because this aspect of leadership is about who you are when people are not watching.  I would say most of the time, no one is going to notice when I do or do not pick up the trash I see in the building, on the sidewalk, in the parking lot, or even at my own house.   Honestly, even if they do notice, they probably just think I am crazy for picking up someone else’s trash.

But what if leadership came down to something as simple as picking up trash? Oh I know, it is way more complex than that, but is it?  What would the world be like if everyone picked up trash when they saw it? But beyond that, what would it look like if leaders or wanna-be leaders lived their lives like people were watching all the time.  Because, let’s be honest for a minute, if the CEO of your company is watching, you will pick up the trash. But if no one is paying attention, you might just leave the tiny gum wrapper for the janitor to pick up.

By no means am I perfect and my leadership skills have a long way to go, but of all the advice I have received, “pick up the trash” ranks up near the top. It resonates with the idea a leader is not made overnight, but in the moments when no one is watching, in the times when it might be easy to cut corners, and in the seconds when you stop to pick up trash rather than simply keep on walking.