Community
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Staring..
Sometimes I look in the mirror
And the girl staring back at me
Is not the one I want to see
I see all the mistakes
All the broken promises
Commitments made and then forgottenI see a life marred by sin
A girl who wants so hard to follow Christ
But gets so easily entangled in the world
And then wonders what went wrong
Determination that is deterred by others
Strength that is weakened in moments of indecisionAnd then I slowly crawl back into the arms of God
Pouring out my tears and fears and moments of regret
Knowing this is where I should have been all along
Instead of trying so hard on my own
And for one moment I truely see my sin as it is
Black and uglyBut it seems that just as quickly I crawl back out
I move on and go on my way
Forgetting the pain, regret, and brokenness
Back to staring in the mirror at a girl I never wanted to become
And forgetting that forever I am held
In the arms of One who loves me more then anyoneAnd regardless of what happens
His arms are always open
Full of love, forgiveness, and comfort
To gently push me forward and slowly help me
Become the girl I want to be
And become the girl He wants me to beYou May Also Like
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Christian??
Have you ever thought about what you are doing with your life? How you are living every moment? Do you think about the people watching you? Do you even care? Is it all about me and how I feel?? Are Christians raising the banner of Christ high or are we smashing His work on the cross to a mere religion that no one else wants to follow?
I got a really neat job this summer, but I must say it has opened my eyes to one major flaw with Christianity. We far too often lose our witness to unsaved people because we do stupid things. I work with the coolest people, but half of them aren’t Christians. Mind you they are some of the awesomest people I know and it saddens me to know they aren’t going to spend eternity in Heaven (At least not at this point), but honestly I don’t blame them. The only Christian’s they have been exposed to besides my mom and I have been rude, have ruined marriages, live lives of selfish indulgence, and are far worse people then they are. Why in the world would they want to be a Christian?
I am not perfect by any sense of the word, but it has given me so much motivation to be on my toes and make sure I am always being kind and watching what I say and do–you seriously never know who’s watching you and who might not become a Christian because of something you do. And it kills me that my ability to witness to them has been reduced to zero because other “Christians” who have come before me and burned the bridge. Maybe it’s the receptionist on the phone or the waiter at dinner or the guy at the checkout line in the grocery store..your five minutes of interaction could be enough to deter them from Christ. Or maybe it’s your decision to drink, cuss, smoke, have sex, live like you want..do you give others a second thought? Or are you too consumed in your Christian liberty and your time schedule that you have to be rude, cater to your needs, and do what you want. Even if that means abandoning biblical principles.
So think about it..Christ commanded us to go out into all the world and make disciples. (Matt 28) Are we doing that? Or are we squandering our mission to satisfy our sinful desires and selfish tendencies? I am going to work on this as I continue to reach out to the people I work with and in the fall my college campus–will you?
Just a thought..
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Micah
Tomorrow my really good friend Micah is shipping out to the Navy in hopes of someday becoming a Navy SEAL. And I decided I hate it when people leave–this has happened a lot in my life in the past two years and I know it is only an indication of what is to come, but that doesn’t take away the sting. As I sit here, my mind is flooded with memories and I can’t help but wonder when I will see him again. I know in everything God has a plan and I know that there is nothing Micah would rather be doing. He’s ready to go and I am truly happy for him. I hope that he does accomplish his dream of becoming a Navy SEAL and I hope I do see him again in this life.
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Graduation!
So my high school career is over! I am officially a graduate of Faith Christian School-I have joined the ranks of 125 allumi! As I embark on a new journey and time in life, I must say I will miss deeply the chapter I have just closed. See, my class is the best group of people you will ever meet! They are 34 of the most amazing people I know and I will deeply miss their influence in my life and their daily laughs, smiles, and words of encouragement. It was a bitter sweet day! I am so excited to be done with high school. Like a wise now college sophomore told me-“it’s so much better on the other side!” But I can’t express how much I will miss my class. These people have helped shaped me into the person I am. They have offered countless words of advice, opportunities to grow, and times to look back on with laughter and tears. And then there is my family-those 3 people in my life who I can always count on. They have given up so much of themselves and allowed me to do so much in high school-I honestly don’t know what I will do next year without them. and my church-I love my church. I love the people there, my pastors, and my youth leaders. They will be hard shoes to fill in whatever church I find down in Evansville. But before you think I am totally dreading college-I am so excited!!! I can’t wait to make new friends, gather new experiences, grow up a little, and learn the joys and woes of being a college freshman! Hopefully I will still be this excited come August! Overall, the past four years have been amazing and I am sure some of the best in my life. Graduation was a day I looked forward to and a day I will never forget–I mean who could forget a graduation that lasted 2 hours and 15 minutes. 🙂 I will continue to write as I enter a new chapter in my life. I am so excited and thankful to all those faithful who still read my blog! I love you all!
Just some thoughts..
Amanda -
Harmless
Man I miss them..Â
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My Brother
He is seriously one of the coolest guys I know..
I take him for granted a lot, but of all the people in the world, he sticks up for me the most. He’s always talking about me and defending me to my parents. And he’s a hard worker..the little guy has ran more miles in the past few months then I have my whole life. He switched schools and public schools take cross country a whole lot more serious. He was running like 40 miles a week-no complaints either. And he’s had to put his social life on hold for a little while because he committed to CC. I have a lot of respect for him. I love my little bro..and I’m sad this is my last year at home..he always seems to have a kind word to say..even after I yell at him and tell him to get out of my room. I also never realized how much I enjoyed being at the same school as him..he would always say hi to me in the halls and I love his friends-they are really cool too. He came in 2nd his cross country meet tonight and I got to see it..I was so proud of him. My little bro out there in front..how cool is that?!
Love you buddy-keep running..girls love runners:)
I’m out..
Amanda
I’m out..
Amanda
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Eve
To Eve-
I have to say dear Eve, I love you more then anything.
You always care and give Godly advice
Your words bring smiles to my face and oh the fun we have
Good-will trips, cheerleading, and I could go on
SMITE is going to be so much fun..
Thanks for always being there
Bosom friends forever and ever
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What I want to accomplish before I turn 30!
What I want to accomplish before I turn 30!
Hum..I can think of lots of things..saving the world, finding my true love, wisking away to a far away enchanted place, being rich, living in a huge house..LOL..ok, back to reality:)
In reality, I want to graduate from college, hopefully get married and get started in missions work. Although it seems like 30 is an eternity away, it is in all reality not that far. My goals right now are more short termed..like getting through the rest of this year, SMITE and getting ready for college. By the time I’m 30, I will hopefully have decided I have enough schooling and degrees and am ready to go out into the work world. I would love to be married and have a few kids, a house and be in a warm location. I also have a desire to do medical missions work so hopefully that will become a reality in my future. As with most things in my life, I am certainly more then willing to let God change my plans and direct my future. He knows better then I do..and for that I am thankful. I seem to change almost daily what I want to do.:)
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Perspective
Perspective..
For homecoming the cheerleaders are teaching the 4th-6th grade girls a cheer to perform. (although no 6th graders showed up) anyways, we are teaching them the first cheer we ever learned. As I showed them the motions and watched them struggling through it, I was reminded of when I first learned that cheer. I looked just like them-not understanding what I was supposed to do and how in the world I was going to get my arms to move that way. Now it’s as natural as talking. I thought about how sometimes we struggle in an area for awhile, but then we think we’ve mastered it so we let our guards down. We stop thinking about making our motions stiff to put it in cheerleading lingo. We figure that since we don’t struggle so much anymore, we don’t need to keep working on it and we move on. Sadly, that seems to be when we get in the most trouble. All of a sudden, we get out to do a floor cheer and we completely forget the first 5 motions. Or we get in a situation and completely fall to whatever we were struggling with. But I also saw determination on the faces of those girls-and excitement. They are no where near perfect, but man, they think it’s so cool. And I guarantee you they will go home and practice. God’s been teaching me a lot about that lately..and it was a reminder today. It was like He was saying, See how hard they are working..why do you slack off after you think you got it? Since reality is, I don’t have it nor am I anywhere close. Yeah, I may master a cheer..but in my spiritual life I must constantly be on the guard. “For your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion seeking who He may devour.” I Pet. 5:8
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I Resolve.
I Resolve…
It’s that time of year again..when we all make our lists of new year resolutions. Sadly, these tend to last until the middle of February and if we’re lucky maybe even March. So I decided this year to limit my resolutions to five..that way I should be able to tackle them all.
1. I resolve to spend more time with the Lord. I am going to work hard at giving Him first place and making time for Him in the morning and evening..even if that means less sleep, and my hair goes up in a ponytail some days.
2. I resolve to decide where I want to go to college. Although, I am trusting in the Lord, I am going to figure out what I want in a college and which ones fit that.
3. I resolve to make new friends and build stronger relationships with the old. This may mean spending less me time, and really taking an interest in those around me.
4. I resolve to spend less money on shoes and clothes. I have way too many, and could put my money to better use.
5. I resolve to enjoy my current job, but also find a new one. I want to work on witnessing more and showing people by my life that I have something different and truly worth having.
6. I resolve to build a stronger relationship with my brother and my family. I don’t have much time left, and I want to help them out the best I can. I also want to save my brother from some of the mistakes I have made, and show him how important the Lord is.
Ok..I know I made six, but with the Lord’s help, I should be able to accomplish all of them. Phil. 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who stengthens me” What an awesome promise! Happy New Year!
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