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The Year of Patience
Normally I make New Year’s Resolutions. A lot of them. And they are usually a long list of big accomplishments and dreams I hope to achieve throughout the next 365 days. They start out well and somewhere around April or May, I completely abandon them only to return to them somewhere around November to realize I either a) failed or b) unknowingly accomplished the goal. The new year is a wonderful time to try to kick off old habits or start some new ones and I am not knocking that, but I decided this year I was not going to make a single resolution. Since I am a chronic overachiever, I have zero trouble adding more things to my to-do list than hours in oh, all eternity. And I will admit, I like lists. They are neat and orderly and enable you to cross things off them.
But.. not this year. This year I decided I was going to pick a word and operate from said word. As I make decisions and move forward throughout this year, everything comes back to a single word. So for this year, the word I chose was..
Patience
I like this definition I found- quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence. To me, patience is about being in the moment. It is about allowing myself the space to relax, to be, to mess up, to sleep in, to stay up late, to say no, to love, and to move slow. It is about having patience with my husband, my friends, my family, and those I encounter each and every day. It is the quiet, steady breathing in and out of life which allows you to put aside the high goals of achievement and instead embrace the joys of the moment.
My prayer is at the end of this year, I can look back and see not a long list of accomplishments, but moments in which I loved those around me better, enjoyed life more, took time to relax, and invested in Kingdom building. I may not be able to say I kicked a bad habit or crossed things off a bucket list or succeeded at such and such, but I hope I can say I grew in the art of patience.
If you already set resolutions, continue on, but if you are searching for something different, perhaps it starts with a single word.
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Reflecting..
There is just something about the end of the year and the beginning of a new one that stirs giddy excitement in my heart. I love the hope of a new year, new chances, and a new start. I also love reflecting on the past, the lessons learned, the triumphs, and the trials. So take a minute to pause and reflect on your past year and indulge me for a minute while I reflect a little on mine.
This was a busy year full of changes, growth, and new opportunities. Oh, and a new name! This time last year, I was in the very middle of planning a wedding, tying together all sorts of details and trying very hard to control my excitement and stress. The rest of the year was a ride of faith, excitement, and lots of changes. I can pretty easily narrow them down to two big changes defining the past year of my life.
Big Change #1- Marriage. No one can really prepare you for the adventure of marriage. Sure, we read books and went through pre-marital counseling and financial peace university (all of which I HIGHLY recommend), but then we stood at the altar and said “I do.” With those two words, everything changed. My name, my identity, my address, my schedule… for someone who doesn’t particularly love change, it’s been an adjustment at times. We have had to learn how to share a home, navigate families, job changes, and we added the most adorable, loving lab to the mix. A day has not passed in the last 9 months where I have questioned my decision. In fact, Jordan proves to me over and over just how truly blessed I am to have him as my partner in life. His support, love, and care have been there through the highs and lows of this year and I cannot wait for many, many more to spend together.
Big Change #2- Ministry. I hinted to this at the beginning of the year and by December, the dream and vision had become a reality. I convinced three other dear ladies we needed to love on the women in our local sex industry in a pretty radical way. Their support, partnership, and friendship has been a constant throughout this year. It has not been without difficulties and I have had to fall on my knees in prayer in order to keep moving forward. All I can say as I look back is “all to the glory of God.” I simply followed a vision and as I cast my heart, other people have gotten on board. It has been scary. It has been exciting, And most of all, it has been a front row seat to watching God move. I cannot wait to see what the new year holds and I am very thankful I know the One who holds the world in His hands. Check out www.thehadassahgroup.com to learn more!
The big changes have caused me to learn to depend on God and to ask for help. I am learning I cannot do this alone and including others sometimes brings about the greatest joy. I have learned friends can come from the unlikeliest of places and hard times can bring about the greatest blessings. I have also been blessed with an amazing new family who has welcomed me in and never makes me feel like the in-law. 2014 was truly a year for the record books.
Hope your year was truly amazing as well! Happy New Year! 🙂
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O’ Christmas Tree!
Some of my fondest memories as a child are from Christmas. Specifically the weekend we would bundle up, load up, and head out to the nearest Christmas tree farm to pick out our very own Christmas tree. We would walk up and down the rows to find the most perfect one and then my dad would spend a lot of time making sure it was trimmed and ready for us to decorate with ornaments. Finally, I always got to set up the Nativity scene and we would watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas. (ok, we probably didn’t do that all in one day… but those are my memories)
About the time I packed up and headed off to college, my mom invested in a fake tree. To me, this was an absolute treason to the season. Christmas was not the same without the smell of evergreen wafting through the air.
When I met Jordan, we talked about all the important things you should discuss before you get married including the fact I wanted a real Christmas tree. I mean, this was essential. 🙂 So almost 10 years after my mom bought a fake one, I finally got my real Christmas tree.
Last weekend, we bundled up and hiked out to find a Christmas tree. Albeit, our tree is far from perfect and leans quite severely to the right, but it is our tree and it smells amazing. Not to mention, I think it turned out beautiful. But truth be told, decorating the tree turned into a minor marital tiff and reminded me as hard as we try, sometimes life is messy.
Especially during this time of year when the temptation to be perfect is so high, let’s remind ourselves life is messy and we are not called to perfection, but to holiness. We are called to love those around us and be patient and kind. If the tree isn’t perfect, the elf isn’t glorious, or the cookies aren’t Pinterest worthy, it is going to be alright. I promise you, I don’t remember the tree or the ornaments, I remember the time I spent with my family. And I am learning as a wife, friend, and daughter, time is the most valuable gift you can give.
The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
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You make me Brave
We have been singing a song at church I absolutely love. The lyrics have become my theme song over the last several weeks. This is the bridge…
You make me brave
You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the love that made a wayI will be the first to admit, at times I can be a bit of an adrenaline junkie, but typically only if it involves things like jumping out of planes or running far. As much as I love the high you experience after a rush of adrenaline, I have struggled with deep fear a lot of my adult life. Fear of the unknown, fear of what people will think, fear of silly things like elevators and murky water. The struggle with fear has caused 2 Timothy 1:7 to be seared into my brain:
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
And yet, for some reason, in a moment of bravery, I jumped headlong into a ministry which requires a lot of boldness. Ironically, the things I should probably be afraid of have not scared me in the least. I feel as though God has given me a sense of boldness and peace and love, confirmation this was the direction I was supposed to go. I have also prayed harder than I really ever remember praying. It is like my pastor said, you don’t have to ask people on mission if they are praying, it’s a given.
So Sunday as we sang “You make me brave” at least 50 times, I was reminded again it is not about me. It is not my bravery. It is not my love. It is not my passion. The truth is, I am not brave. I am the girl who would rather hide in the corner. I am the one who has to take a deep breath every time I get in an elevator. And I am the one who is brave because He has made me brave. I can love with Jesus’ love. Not my own which is imperfect, faulty, and treacherous. I can go into the dark because I carry the light. And I can be confident and bold because I know He who has overcome the world is in me.
If you want to learn more, check out The Hadassah Group.
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Divine Appointments
While I am working on finding my approval solely in Christ and trusting Him alone, I will be the first to admit, it is a true work in progress. A SLOW work. I still find myself craving the validation of others and rising and falling on their words. I still find myself trying in my own strength to get things done. I have been making more time for praying, writing, and I started a Bible study last week on my own which has proven to be exactly the right words. In the midst of all of these measly efforts, I am convinced God knows sometimes my heart still needs a little extra urging. As I am growing in letting go of my need for the approval of others, I am also learning, sometimes, God masterfully uses His children to speak life into each other and the result is beautiful. It is not about gaining their approval, but it is about life-giving encouragement.
Enter my new friend Stefanie. I am convinced from the start, God orchestrated this meeting. Last weekend, a church in our area put on a one-day women’s conference. Oh I wish you could have all come! It was beautiful, freeing, and soul-filling. When they began advertising for it, the speaker had just happened to start a strip club ministry. Now, I will be the first to jump in the car and road trip it anywhere to talk to someone who has a tad more experience than I do starting a ministry, but this time, I didn’t have to leave my own town. Through some AMAZING ladies who happen to believe in the calling God put in my heart (which whoa, why??!), the speaker graciously agreed to sit down and chat with me before the event. It has been events like this where I can just sit back and say, “All glory to God!” So I headed to her hotel and was graciously met by the speaker and her ministry partner Stefanie. Two hours or so later, I left busting at the seams with excitement, boldness, and life. I left confident in my own inadequacy (because I mean, what better way for God to totally show up right?) and convinced when God calls, He equips. Stefanie and I had an instant connection. I can’t explain it nor will I try, but what I will say is, God used Stefanie to speak calm to my fears and life to my heart.
As I have taken each step forward pursuing this dream, I have seen God show up. I have been on the receiving end of a lot of generosity, encouragement, and support. And while my heart is to serve women in the clubs, I have also seen some beautiful things happen when the Church comes together to love the lost. My own heart has grown in learning to love, to forgive, to let go, and to step forward. And at the end of it all, through the good times and the hard times, through the current successes and the future challenges, I know God is using these moments to remind me He is good. No matter what, He is good. And because He is good, He will equip, He will provide, and He will comfort. A precious message my Type A personality needs to hear over and over and over again.
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Who Do You Want to Be?
Sometimes the message is heard at the right time in the right place. For me this happened at our monthly leadership meeting at my church. Honestly, these meetings typically are just something I check off a to-do list. Another day, another meeting. A few weeks ago I even made a monthly calendar to keep all the meetings I have straight-it totaled like 30. (which I will admit is RIDICULOUS!) But this month, it was different. The theme was on creating margin in our lives and the message could not have come at more perfect time.
Perhaps I was extra exhausted or overwhelmed or feeling the weight of a never-ending schedule and a never clean house. I hate clutter. I hate mess. And despite the craziness of my schedule, it is usually neat and orderly. But lately, it has been CRAZY. I can’t even keep it straight which has led to double-commitments and to many “yes” answers.
Enter Bill Hybels. This man seems to always know what to say. In a 10 minute video, he completely altered my thoughts, emotions, and feelings. I came in feeling heavy, frustrated, and ready to quit. And I left feeling encouraged, challenged, and ready to quit. He asked some simple questions-
What replenishes you?
As I have reflected on this, I realized my schedule has become full of things that drain me and pushed out any time for those things that replenish me. Things like long runs, traveling, going to conferences, reading, and writing. I am by nature an introvert. The more I am around people, the more exhausted I feel. It is in the alone time, the time spent listening to worship music, writing, or reading when I feel full. So I have decided these things are going to non-negotiable on my schedule. I will carve out the time to replenish because if I don’t the crash and burn would come.
Who do you want to be?
This question requires some more thought. We don’t think in terms of “being”. We think in terms of “doing””. What do you do? Can you do this? Can you serve here or volunteer here or give here? A flaw in our culture, we equate doing with success and satisfaction. Guilty as charged. My schedule is full of doing. And it’s not all bad. In fact, most of it is really good stuff. It is life-changing stuff. But wrestling with who I want to be is going to mean taking a hard look at the doing in my life. I don’t have an answer yet. I am too empty to think about what I want to be. Hence the first question.
What do you need to add to your calendar to get there?
Perhaps the better question for me is what do I need to delete from my calendar to get there. 🙂 First step is to add time for those things that replenish me. I am going to work hard to schedule time for rest and reflection. I have a stack of books I want to tackle. And I am going to dust off my running shoes and try again. Even if I have to walk. I am going to take the time to replenish and pray and think through who do I really want to be and what do I need to eliminate or add to get there.
As we head into the weekend, take a minute to reflect on those questions. Perhaps you can take one step this weekend to start the process. For me, I am going to a women’s conference which is something replenishing to my soul.
Here is a link to a shortened video- Simplify Session 1 and I think I am going to add the book to my reading list.
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God Is For You
With the start of the school year, my early morning Bible study got back into action and started reading The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. This week we started on the first two chapters and I can already tell this book is going to be life-altering.
The book is premised around praying bold prayers, but perhaps the line sticking hardest in my head right now is-
“God is for you“
Do you ever need to hear that?
When the days are long and the nights are short, when the challenges are many, and the peace is fleeting, or when things are smooth sailing, but boring? Do you ever just need that reminder- God is for you?
This week, I needed that reminder. In the midst of an out-of-control schedule, some tough personal challenges, and a growing ministry which is equally frustrating and exciting, I needed, desperately, to read those words. In all of life, God is for me. He is calling me to pray life-altering prayers, dream big dreams, and rest in the peace only He can bring. He did not ask me to do it alone or in my strength. He asked me to trust Him. To walk alongside Him and to know that He is for me. He will not leave me with more or less than I need.
This semester, I am committing to praying some bold prayers. I am also committing to keep in front of me this very thought- God is for me. When I am stressed or frustrated or overwhelmed, I will remember God is for me.
Perhaps you too need to remember this- God is for you. Do not let it slip away. In the challenges, in the joys, and in the tears, remember- God is for you.
Now, let’s get on to praying some life-altering, bold prayers!
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The Hadassah Group
Whew…
It has been a whirlwind of a few weeks and my poor blog has been neglected to say the least. Usually writing is an outlet for stress, but lately I have been trying to spend more time reading my Bible and writing in my journal so this writing got pushed to the back burner. I have also been experimenting with eating healthier which is a fun adventure all in itself (more on that later). What I really want to share with you today is a vision finally turning into a reality! (can we all take a deep breath first?)
Two years ago I first read about an organization in Louisville called Scarlet Hope. I fell in love. With the ministry, the vision, the idea. They are doing something most people would think is CRAZY. They are bringing the hope and love of Jesus to the local strip clubs-a place full of broken dreams, hurting women, and darkness. Over a meal, a small group would share their lives with women while they were getting ready for their shift at the club. It was not about church, it was about Jesus and His radical love. So I began secretly dreaming, praying, and scheming about what this would look like in my community. At the same time, I was working on a master’s degree, planning a wedding, and switching jobs. Not the ideal time to birth a huge vision for changing the community. (especially when the demons in your head keep telling you it’s impossible and people will think you are crazy)
Almost a year ago, I shared the vision with my now husband. I figured if we were going to get married, he should know what he was getting himself into and I needed his support. His response was to buy me plates and napkins for my birthday. I cried. From there I started talking to a few people in my life who would become partners in the ministry and supporters of the vision. They would stand beside and behind me as we moved forward, encouraging me each step of the way. They have become best friends, mentors, and coaches. Women I talk to almost daily.
After a lot of planning, praying, training, and long conversations, The Hadassah Group was born. The mission is simple-to share the hope and freedom found in Christ with local women working in the sex industry. Three other women and I have traveled to other ministries, gone to training, and spent a lot of time praying and dreaming over this. Tomorrow night we have our first “official” meeting. The first meeting where we actually invited people and created some social media buzz about it.
I have to admit, fear mixed with a whole lot of excitement, is probably the most adequate way to describe my feelings right now. My heart is broken for this ministry and I want nothing more than to see other people capture the vision. I also know it is not in my hands whether this succeeds. I have to do the work, but I ultimately have to trust the One who called.
If you would like to join the ministry or learn more, feel free to comment on here or send an e-mail to hadassahgroup@gmail.com or if you are local, come to WIRED Coffeehouse tomorrow (9/17) at 6:00pm to learn more.
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Interrupted: When Jesus Wrecks Your Comfortable Christianity Giveaway
I hope you read this post on Interrupted, but more than that, I hope you read the book for yourself!! It is a must-read. And Jen might be the easiest author ever to read. I won’t admit how many times I laugh out loud while reading. 🙂
In order to make it even easier for you to read this book, I am going to help you get your hands on a copy!! If you would like to win a free, brand new copy of Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker all you have to do is this..
1 entry: Comment below on why you want to read the book
Bonus entry: Subscribe to the blog (if you already are a subscriber, you get a bonus entry just for being awesome!)
There ya go.. two chances to win your own copy of the book!!!! If you don’t win, you can get a copy of the book at any major bookstore or on Amazon.. check it out here! Also, go check at Jen’s Blog today for her re-cap and the link-up (my blog is on there:))!!!
You have until Friday(8/22) at 5:00pm to enter!!
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Global Leadership Summit Day 2 Recap
What an amazing two days!!! I am ready to tackle some big dreams and move forward on a big vision. The Global Leadership Summit never fails to bring advice, wisdom, and practical tools to move forward and grow in your leadership. Next year-don’t miss it!
My three big takeaways from today are:
- Hard conversations do not have to equal broken relationships, they can lead to intimacy
- Remember-the message is sacred, the method is not. Stand in the Gap!
- Christ is enough to fulfill all He has called me to do
Joseph Grenny-Mastering the Art of Crucial Conversations
- The power of the group is a function of the purity of its motives
- Are there a few moments of disproportionate influence?
- Anytime you find yourself stuck, stop and ask: What crucial conversation are we not holding or not holding well?
- Best way to avoid crucial conversations is to have a meaningless life
- When conversations turn from casual to crucial the irony is that when it matters most, we tend to do our worst
- There is a God-ordained purpose for crucial conversations
- You can talk it out or you can act it out
- Crucial conversations are either a pit or a path
- Crucial conversations can become an acceleration of intimacy
- Focus on the crucial conversations and have them become the path, not the pit
- The vital behavior that enables most any positive organizational outcome is candor at moments of acute emotional and political risk
- Human connection accelerates our growth as human beings
- People never get defensive about what you’re saying, they become defensive because of why they think you’re saying it
- The myth that we can’t tell the truth and keep a friend is at the heart at what keeps us from achieving our potential
Erica Ariel Fox- Winning from Within
- We get in our way and we miss out on some of life’s most meaningful opportunities because we can’t negotiate with ourselves
- Have you ever said yes when you wanted to say no?
- A developmental path for a leader is to identify your key and consistent performance gap and systematically close them so there isn’t a difference between how you love and lead and how you could do it at your best
- When we look at scans of your brain each one of you is more like an orchestra than a soloist
- Look for the dream beneath the dream
- Is there a dream in me that I have left behind?
- Can you articulate a business case for the morally correct action you hope to bring about?
- It is much more difficult to lead effectively if people feel like every interaction I have with you is a transaction
- Sometimes telling a hard truth and telling it lovingly is the right thing to do
- Find some places in your life where you are saying yes today and start saying thanks, but no
Don Flow- A Grander Vision
- Work is place that Christ has called me to
- Leaders must be truthful and graceful
- Seek the good of others before we seek the good of ourselves
- The culture of an organization is a powerful current that shapes the lives of people in it
- We can re-weave the frayed fabric of our world into the beautiful tapestry it was meant to be
- A person has intrinsic dignity and value regardless of what they do
- In our company there are no little people or insignificant people
- Confident challenge without confidence creates fear, but challenge without confidence creates complacency
- The world will not form distinctive Christians
Allen Catherine Kagina- A Grander Vision
- I was naïve enough to believe that God could change anything
- God doesn’t know the division between church and business or church and politics
- You are anointed for what you do
- We have so many resources, we just need to get the people to do the right thing
- If we invite the kingdom of God to where we are in the public area, I believe that God will take over and we will begin to see better societies
Wilfredo De Jesus- A Grander Vision
- Prayer is necessary, Prayer is a weapon, But we cannot allow prayer to be a crutch not to do anything
- You cannot let your budget dictate your faith
- Once the moral condition has been revealed to you, we must move to action
- Who will stand in the gap?
- We must engage our community
- We must do what Jesus did, He sat with the lost, He ate with the lost
- Fear is the absence of faith
- For me what is sacred is the message, not the method!
- We must not be afraid to take our faith into the communities
- How many leaders have been in the huddle for 5 years? When is it that we are going to call break and do what we are going to do and fill the gap
- You have to be willing to sacrifice
- Whenever you decide to stand in the gap, you are going to face strong opposition, but God is with you-who can be against you?
Ivan Satyavrata- The Power Paradox
- Power is simply the potential or ability to move reality-to make something happen
- There is no such thing as leadership without power
- A leader must have power and humility
- The whisper of God will grow into a crescendo so everyone in the world can hear God’s voice
- Jesus holds a scepter in one hand and a towel and basin in the other
- A leader’s power in their ability to influence people
- Leaders wake up asking, “How can I use my power to make the world a better place today?”
- The greatest gift you can give to your followers is to create the ultimate safe place for them so they can soar
- How do we apply the message of Christ to the million of acts of injustice that occur every hour on our planet?
- Do not withhold good from those who it is due when it is within your power to act
- Leaders use kingdom power to carve out opportunities in the face of daunting opposition
- I don’t have to be a Christian terminator who wipes out all evil from planet Earth
- The true secret of any great leaders’ power is that when you feel the weakest that is when you are really the strongest
- Leaders recognize that power comes from God and is a sacred trust to be used to build up, not to destroy
Tyler Perry- When Leadership Meets Inspiration
- Clear the noise. Clear the clutter. Clear the naysayers
- Sometimes I pass up the qualified with the wrong attitude, for the less qualified with the right attitude
- God doesn’t make any mistakes
- It takes an enormous amount of energy to get through abuse/betrayal, but it takes the same amount of energy to forgive the wrongdoer
- It’s not just about making them laugh, use the laughter as anesthesia to get to the heart of the matter
- Don’t judge, but for the grace of God, it could be one of us
- The feast is prepared in the presence of my enemies so watch me eat!
- Rather than focus on the critic, focus on the people impacted by your work
Louie Giglio- Closing
- All the glory goes to God, honor goes to people
- We are going to leave this place and do what God has called us to do
- What is your mountain?
- There is enough supply from God in your life to make it to the summit
- Sometimes you just don’t know what to do
- The stakes are too high to die with a small vision
- I want to improve the situation for every person possible
- Life is short, but God is big
- You get up the mountain one step at a time
- God’s power is sufficient enough to take the very next step He is asking us to take
- When it looks like everything has gone off the rails, embrace the darkness because God is preparing you for a greater role in His story
- You can, but you can’t
- We rest because what we do depends on God, not on us
- Humility is the by-product of being with Jesus
- Take the next step
- Don’t stop walking in the confidence that Christ is enough to fulfill everything He has called you to do
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