I am lost- once again in my life I’m admitting defeat. My plans aren’t working, my agenda doesn’t seem to be the one God has, and fighting against Him is pointless. All I’ve done is make my family mad at me, my friendships suffer, and myself miserable. All my life it’s been so easy to wake up and put on a mask, its become part of my wardrobe. I try to mask my pain, my heartache, my feelings of utter loneliness. I know the right thing..I know I should trust in God, I know I shouldn’t be lonely..and I could go on about what I know..but somewhere simply knowing falls short. It isn’t enough to simply know. I think God is trying to teach me that..perhaps the purpose behind my dad losing his job was to teach me that I know a lot..but knowing isn’t enough. I need to have faith..faith that can move mountains. I need to trust in verses like Jer.29:11 which has long been one of my favorites. Somehow I have to take all the knowledge I have in my head and turn it into something I believe with my heart. I have to turn it into actions I take part in. Is that easy? No Way! Can it be done? Of course..but only with the help of my savior. I appreciate your prayers and encouragement..they have been treasured greatly. I must take the next step..I must be willing to be honest and to allow God to teach me and others to help me. Will it take time? Yes..it usually does with me..I like to do things slowly, but God is patient..something I am very thankful for!

I’m out..

Amanda

A Question Posed by my Youth Pastor

What’s your favorite way to worship God?

In Sunday school, we are going through the book A Purpose Driven Life. This past week the two chapters we were supposed to read were on the topic of worship. It seems worship is a rather touchy subject at some churches, and often ignored all-together. The author of the book pointed out that God made each of us different and each of us will worship God differently. So today, my youth pastor-PW- asked us this question. It got me thinking, how often to I actually think about worshipping God. And what truly is my favorite way. I decided tonight at youth group that it was singing. Although God did not choose to bless me with a great, “wow” voice, I love to sing praises to my God. This year I’ve taken the time to mull over the words I’m singing and treat them as prayers to God. I am so thankful God has given us music and that we are free to use it to glorify Him. I am learning daily that worshipping God is a continual process-one that goes far beyond Sunday mornings. And I still love singing to Him. My voice is sweet music to His ears..even if it isn’t to the person standing next to me!:) On a serious note, I pose that question to you. What is your favorite way to worship God? Do you even think about worshipping Him? Or is it all an act, a ritual, something you do because that’s what everyone else is doing?

Just a thought..

Amanda

An interesting Thought

Being yourself is going is going to be the hardest thing your do in your life. -Whoopi Goldberg

Although I wouldn’t go to Whoopi for all my life advice, I seriously think she hit the mark on this one. So often we are made fun of for who we are, and we ourselves can fall into the trap of making fun of others for who they are. I can definitely see the truth of this in my own life. For years I have struggled to just be myself, I would always change who I was to fit who I was with. Not until recently have I been able to be myself and just accept that not everyone is going to like that. It’s not easy though. Any of you who have been victims to someone else’s teasing know where I’m coming from. Maybe you are a bit blonde, or a cheerleader, or a nerd, or even the class clown. Whatever you are, figure it out and don’t be afraid to let it shine. God has made each of us as individuals. If we were supposed to be like someone else, then He would have made us that way, but He didn’t. He gave us each our own personality. It’s amazing how hard it can be to be that personality though. People will always misjudge your motives and dislike you-it’s an inevitable part of life. The key is being able to take their criticism with the drop of a hat. And make sure that we ourselves are not guilty of this. The bible has called us to love our neighbors as ourselves. It doesn’t say, love them only if you like them or if they have never hurt you or if they like you. Even the sinners love those who love them. We have to be different. We have to be able to be ourselves and love others for who they are. As long as we are all trying to be someone else or fit into a mold that isn’t for us, we are never going to have an impact on the world and accomplish all the great things God has in store for us. He has a plan tailored just for you and for me. He created us in His image, so why should being ourselves be difficult?

Just a thought..

Amanda

The Passion of the Christ

Very few times in my life have I seen a movie that was so moving, so painful to watch, and so frustrating all at the same time. Never can I remember crying so hard during a movie. Hollywood has created a lot of movies that were bloody and graphic, but this one was real. My savior actually went through that, and the actual extent of His pain and agony could never be captured on the big screen. If you haven’t see the movie, stop reading here! If you have seen the movie, or care to listen to me talk about it, continue on. There were two things that really stuck out in my mind, well..ok, the whole movie stuck out in my mind, but two parts that I think especially struck me. One was when Peter denies Christ. It’s a part of the story we are all familiar with, yet I think it is often overlooked. Peter is watching Christ get beat for no reason, questioned and lied about, and yet he still denies Christ. And here we are 3000 years later, with a story in the bible and we think that gives us some excuse for denying Christ. But it doesn’t.. I think the part perhaps that made me take a hard look at my life was three little words Christ says on the cross. He’s hanging up there and He says, “Father, forgive them..” Now after watching everything they put Christ through..the beating, the scourging, nailing Him to the cross, laughing at Him and so on, it was hard to hear Him say forgive them. If that had been me, I probably would have commanded fire to come down and burn them to ashes. But not Christ. How often do I refuse to forgive people? How often do I treat others unkindly and unlovingly? It all seems so trivial and meaningless. Nothing anyone could do to me could ever compare with what Christ did for me. The things I get mad over pale in comparasion with Christ’s suffering. I wish I could say that reading the story in the bible had as great an affect on my life, but sadly we live in a culture that thrives on seeing things. While this is a movie I could probably never watch again, it will never be forgotten. It put a picture in my mind so horrific and so grotesque, I will never forget. Isaiah 53:5 says, “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.” My sin nailed Him the the cross, and His sacrifice paid my debt. Giving Him my whole life and living to worship Him should be natural responses to the gift that has been given to me. I hope and pray that we never get so much in the daily, mundane routine that we let this story lose it’s meaning and it’s power. It is awesome! And we’ve got the book-we can read it any time we want.