Last week, I had the opportunity to hear Dr. Jason Selk speak. He is the author of the book 10-Minute Toughness and perhaps most notably around this area, the Director of Mental Training for the St. Louis Cardinals.  His hour-long talk was one of the most straight-forward, down-to-earth messages I have heard in a while and the exact message I believe everyone needs to hear at this time of year. Heading into mid-January, how are your goals and resolutions for the year holding up? Have you already forgotten them? I hope not, but in case you are waning, here is a bit of motivation to keep you moving.

Dr. Selk’s talk was entitled “The Heart of a Champion.” The key message was having courage to believe in yourself when the chops are down. It’s easy to believe in yourself when things are going well, but he talked about being the type of person that is prepared and ready for the tough moment. To do this, “one must know that they always finish what they set out to do.” How many times have you set a goal only to not finish it? What are you telling yourself when that happens?  We must become the type of people who always finish what we start.  But how do you do this? By starting small, focusing on the process, and choosing to attack the things you can control. Dr. Selk’s inspiration comes from wrestling great, Dan Gable.  Gable’s wrestling record was 182-1 and included an Olympic medal. Dr. Selk sat down and interviewed him and came up with three steps for creating the discipline in your life that you need to become the type of person that always finishes what they set out to finish.

Step 1: Choose carefully what you decide to accomplish.  You do not have to set the bar extremely high. If you aren’t a runner, start with a 5k, not a marathon. Start with getting up early one day a week if you aren’t a morning person. Read 5 minutes extra a day. Choose a goal carefully that is doable.

Step 2: Always finish-no excuses.  No matter what happens, finish the goal. Cross the finish line. Crawl out of bed. Stay up 5 more minutes.

Step 3: If you come up short, find the nearest mirror and say, “I’m sorry, there are no excuses, this will never happen again.” Don’t make an excuse. Just admit you came up short and determine to never let it happen again.

As Dr. Selk so aptly quoted, “Excuses make you suck.” They are the antithesis to success. Do not let them become part of your vocabulary. Apologize without excuses. Finish your goals. Admit you came up short, but don’t excuse it. Because we can all be people who do what we say we will do.

One of the ways he talked about this being attainable is by focusing on process goals. Make sure that you are doing daily the things needed to get you to your ultimate goal. Dan Gable wanted to be the best. So he made sure that he practiced harder, longer, smarter, and with more intensity than his opponents. He knew when he stepped up for a match that he was as prepared as he would ever be. He had made sure his process would secure his success.

Another thing Dr. Selk pointed out was that as human beings, we are goal striving, not goal achieving. Sure its great to finish the race, but the process is where the real enjoyment comes. Be the type of person that finishes what they started and learns to set small goals to enjoy the process along the way. Stop making excuses. Because we can all be runners or morning people or readers or better at our job or have stronger relationships. We just have to set goals and do them. We have to get up and stop making excuses or saying “we can’t do it.”

If you want more information, pick up Dr. Selk’s book 10-Minute Toughness. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to him and am going to use 2012 as a year to practice ridding my vocabulary of excuses. Perhaps it would be a good exercise for all of us.

Happy 25th Birthday to Me!

I am pretty excited.

25.

Sounds so grown up. I can now rent a car, I have officially entered my mid-twenties, and have enough experience under my belt to at least have somewhat of a voice and opinion. I am three years out of college and getting ready to go back. I have had an amazing year and am excited for what is coming next. Life is always an adventure with me!

I love birthdays. I have never ever dreaded getting one year older. I know, that may catch up with me someday, but for now I am excited about what year 25 will bring. Year 24 year was pretty amazing. I began it in Saipan, traveled to Bali, Australia, and Japan, completed a triathlon, watched my little brother get married, started a new job, and got accepted to a Master’s program. And that is only a small, small sampling of year 24.  

It seemed only natural to blog on this day.  As I thought long and hard about what to write I came up with a few ideas, but overall I realized that I am so blessed and thankful for my life, its hard to narrow it down. It’s been an amazing 25 years and while I could easily come up with 25 things to write about, I am not a fan of long lists and I am guessing you aren’t either. So I narrowed it down to five things I have learned in my 25 years of life. That’s an easy multiple of 25. Five is only a penny in the bucket of all the life lessons I have learned, but hopefully I can keep your attention for long enough to stick through the five. I will even count them down, although they are not really in any particular order.

5. After 25 years, my parents still know best. While they have become my best friends and have definitely let me grow up, I now  listen to their advice with an open ear. I have finally realized that they may be wiser than I cared to think and they might know a little bit more than I do. (tough lesson to learn)  I am pretty sure I am only where I am today because of them and I am so thankful for their support and love, even when I chose not to listen to them.

4. After five college major changes, three drastically different jobs, traveling the world, and a lot of researching, I finally found a path. I won’t go so far to say I know exactly what I want to do with my life, but I will say that I have a direction, a focus, and a passion that I plan to pursue until I can no longer. It starts with going back to school. Where it will finish, only God knows. I believe it really started when as a fourth grader I decided to read Uncle Tom’s Cabin. (If you have not read it, I can assure it is not fourth grade level reading material)  My mom may be able to tell you it started earlier than that. All I know is the fight against slavery has been inside of me since that day. What that will look like in terms of the future, I have no idea. All I know is that I cannot squelch it and the number of people enslaved is higher than it has ever been in history so there is a need for people passionate once again about the abolishment of slavery.

3. Life is all about being present where you are. This was a hard lesson to learn. In fact, I did not learn it until last year. Most of my life I was always looking forward to the next step, the next thing, the next whatever. Moving across the world to a very small island left me no choice but to be where I was. There was no leaving and no sense in being miserable-hello, aside from the cockroaches and mosquitoes, it was pretty close to paradise. So I dug in, made friends, got involved, coached, traveled, and made memories I will have forever.  I made a decision as I said good-bye to Saipan that I was going to live where I was. God doesn’t put us places without purpose so wherever that is, I am going to be all there for however long I am there.

2. Experiences > Stuff.  Enough said.

1. Friendships, if worth maintaining, will take work. But the value of a close friend cannot be put into words. E-mail, call, Skype, laugh, and learn together. Find friends that enjoy what you enjoy, share your heart, and at the end of the day, love you for exactly who you are-quirks and all!

I have no idea what year 25 will bring, but I can assure it, life will be anything but boring! I am already starting a list of things to accomplish and I am so excited about the year! For now though, I am going to enjoy my triple shot, venti Peppermint Mocha (free from Starbucks) and enjoy the day.

Thanks to everyone who commented on my blog. I enjoyed reading them! I found a random number generator online, inputed all the entries in an Excel Doc, and choose a random number that corresponded to an entry. (Tried to make it official)

Anyways.. after all that the winner was:

ELIZABETH ZIKMUND!

Her comment was:

JK Rowling, I am a big Harry Potter nerd and would love to speak to JK Rowling. She is such an amazing writer, I’d love to pick her brain!
CS Lewis. I have read so many of his books and a biography written by his stepson. I would love to hear his story in his own words. He wrote amazing books and went through some really hard things.

Congrats Girl!! And thanks everyone else for entering! (I still think you all should read the book eventually..)

Happy Reading!

“Love your work, work for what you love, and change the world–All at the same time.” -Opening quote from Start Something That Matters written by Founder of TOMS, Blake Mycoskie.

Little excites me more than a good book. I can get lost in the story, the characters, and the imagery the author weaves throughout the pages. And while Start Something That Matters is not as much of a story as it is a guidebook, I fell in love with the book from the first page. I had to be careful where I read it as so many of the stories told by author and founder, Blake Mycoskie brought me to tears. Perhaps I am a little overly sensitive, but there is just something about reading page after page of ordinary people achieving extraordinary things that is inspiring and emotion-provoking. My initial review of the book-finish reading my post and then go buy yourself a copy. It’s worth it. No matter what you do, no matter where you work, or what dreams you have, the practical principles in the book are worth the cost of the book. And you will be giving a book to child somewhere else, so what other reason do you need? Well, in case that was not convincing enough, I will give you a few more reasons I think you should snag yourself a copy.

First, the stories. Maybe you know a little about how TOMS was founded, but my passion for TOMS was increased after reading Blake’s side of the story. And how about the stories behind how Method brand products, Falling Whistles, or charity:water started?  Most often we get this idea in our head that these organizations were founded by super-heroes and that there is nothing that I, an average person, can do. Not true. Those companies were all started by average people with dreams beyond the status quo. The stories were inspiring. As was the challenge-find your story. And in keeping with the practical side of the book, there are steps laid out on how to do just that. How do you find your story? Your message in the midst of the many out there? How do you distinguish your idea as a movement, as a mission, as something other people should become a part of? Those are just some of the things addressed in the first several chapters of the book.

Second, the challenge. I love how Mycoskie refuses to sugar coat things. He does not simply write an inspiring book that is full of all the successes and positives. He digs deep and challenges you to face the fears and shares the mistakes and failures that came at the beginning. He shares his own fear and insecurity as well as that of many other business leaders. The book takes you on a journey and does not leave you with the impression that it will be easy or smooth, but with the impression that it is possible. That I believe is a much better outcome.  When I finished the last page, I had the confidence to believe I could pursue something that matters. I also had a clear picture of the reality of the challenges that would be ahead and the courage I would need to push through the fear and the feelings of failure.

Lastly, the resources. I believe most of us are under the impression that we must have an enormous amount of capital and resources to start something. Mycoskie challenges this idea by explaining how carefully they conserved resources and giving very practical ideas of ways to save money at the beginning. In addition, there are pages of free or nearly resources available to everyone starting out. I had not heard of most of the items on the list and highlighted and book marked the pages to continually come back to. The book is full of advice and strategies from other entrepreneurs that added value to the practicality of the book.

Overall, I would highly recommend the book. Even if you do not ever plan on starting your own company, the tools in the book are easily applied to whatever you are doing. I think the value of the book is that not only does it tell a story, but it inspires its readers to tell their stories. And not just to tell your story, but to practically turn that story into something bigger, something that matters. It’s a book you close out not only feeling inspired, but feeling equipped to start. That in my opinion makes it an excellent read.

Now its your turn. I want you to read it. And I am going to make it easy for you because I have a brand new copy of the book to give away!  I will even cover the shipping! All you have to do is simply comment on this post an answer to the following question:

If you could listen to anyone’s story of how they got where they are, who would it be and why? 

I will tell you my answer. It would be Tom Davis, founder of Children’s Hope Chest because I admire what he has done for the orphan and the widow around the world, and he works closely with Swaziland-a country near to my heart.

Now its your turn. I will give you guys until December 2nd, 2011 at midnight to answer and then I will pick a winner.  After that, I expect the rest of you to get your own copy of the book and read it! Good Luck!