20 Weeks!

We hit the illustrious half-way mark!  Yes folks, we are 20 weeks pregnant. Forgive my less-than-Pinterest worthy photo,  but there is a small baby bump there! According to my pregnancy apps, we have a mango or a small cantaloupe in there this week.  I think I have a tiny boxer in there considering the extent to which this little thing kicks and hits me.

It’s hard to believe its been 20 weeks since we found out. And I will admit, it has taken 20 weeks for me to finally be excited.  I told my friend the other day, this is the first week I am actually really getting excited and I am so so ready to find out whether this baby is a he or she.  There are baby clothes out there begging me to buy them! 🙂

Feeling the baby move has got to rank up there with coolest things ever. And maybe weirdest. There is a small child inside of me. Don’t think too long about that thought.  But seriously, God is incredible in the way He created us.  And I already love this little person more than I could ever imagine.  God’s ways are truly higher than mine and I am so very thankful He is in control.

Everyone asks about the cravings. Mostly I want sugar. Which is really hard to my health-conscious self. I have been trying to eat fruit and make healthy sweet things, but sometimes a Blizzard is just the answer.  I also bought 5 boxes of mac and cheese at the grocery store last week. I could eat it three meals a day if I let myself. The most repulsive thing-vegetables. Of any kind. This is not a good thing.  I force myself to eat them because I know they are essential, but yuck.

Now, give me a moment to talk about some of the tough parts of pregnancy.  Like the acne. Seriously, my face looks worse than it did in junior high. I am just thankful my belly is starting to grow so people don’t just think I am fat and have teenage skin.:) I hope it settles back down in 20 weeks. How about the having-to-pee every hour. I think the baby is sitting right on my bladder. No luck with that waiting until the 3rd trimester. Perhaps the hardest part, though, has been taming my anxious thoughts. I am not usually a person who worries much. I plan and I read and I just generally figure things will happen as they are supposed to, but since about week 17, I keep imagining all these things that could go wrong or be wrong.  And perhaps the not knowing is what makes it the hardest. As we hit week 20, I woke up this morning and prayed God would give me peace.  I am clinging to 1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you” and Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

While 20 weeks seems to have come so quickly, I am working on enjoying this time to prepare and spend time with my husband.  The baby will come soon enough and until then, I am going to work on simply being in this moment.