While I am working on finding my approval solely in Christ and trusting Him alone, I will be the first to admit, it is a true work in progress. A SLOW work. I still find myself craving the validation of others and rising and falling on their words. I still find myself trying in my own strength to get things done. I have been making more time for praying, writing, and I started a Bible study last week on my own which has proven to be exactly the right words. In the midst of all of these measly efforts, I am convinced God knows sometimes my heart still needs a little extra urging. As I am growing in letting go of my need for the approval of others, I am also learning, sometimes, God masterfully uses His children to speak life into each other and the result is beautiful. It is not about gaining their approval, but it is about life-giving encouragement.
Enter my new friend Stefanie. I am convinced from the start, God orchestrated this meeting. Last weekend, a church in our area put on a one-day women’s conference. Oh I wish you could have all come! It was beautiful, freeing, and soul-filling. When they began advertising for it, the speaker had just happened to start a strip club ministry. Now, I will be the first to jump in the car and road trip it anywhere to talk to someone who has a tad more experience than I do starting a ministry, but this time, I didn’t have to leave my own town. Through some AMAZING ladies who happen to believe in the calling God put in my heart (which whoa, why??!), the speaker graciously agreed to sit down and chat with me before the event. It has been events like this where I can just sit back and say, “All glory to God!” So I headed to her hotel and was graciously met by the speaker and her ministry partner Stefanie. Two hours or so later, I left busting at the seams with excitement, boldness, and life. I left confident in my own inadequacy (because I mean, what better way for God to totally show up right?) and convinced when God calls, He equips. Stefanie and I had an instant connection. I can’t explain it nor will I try, but what I will say is, God used Stefanie to speak calm to my fears and life to my heart.
As I have taken each step forward pursuing this dream, I have seen God show up. I have been on the receiving end of a lot of generosity, encouragement, and support. And while my heart is to serve women in the clubs, I have also seen some beautiful things happen when the Church comes together to love the lost. My own heart has grown in learning to love, to forgive, to let go, and to step forward. And at the end of it all, through the good times and the hard times, through the current successes and the future challenges, I know God is using these moments to remind me He is good. No matter what, He is good. And because He is good, He will equip, He will provide, and He will comfort. A precious message my Type A personality needs to hear over and over and over again.
