It Starts Today

Your life. It starts today.

Simple enough statement. But super complicated meaning. Society has twisted this statement and I believe uses it as a marketing ploy to keep us unhappy or at least to keep us from being content. To keep us always wanting more. Think about the messages communicated daily.

Life starts when you graduate highschool. OR graduate college. OR get your first real job. OR get married. OR have kids. OR retire.

It’s always starting when you reach the next big milestone.

This idea has been driving me crazy lately. For several reasons, but namely because the following is a conversation I seem to have almost daily.

“Are you married?”

No.

“Are you dating anyone?”

No.

“Why not?”

To which  I sometimes respond I don’t know or I don’t want to or good question or sometimes I mutter under my breath all sorts of mean things. Depends on my mood and how my day has been going.

I realize those are seemingly innocent and well-meaning questions. Probably 1/3 of them come from kids who assume that because I am older than they are, I should be married. 🙂 I do not doubt that most people who ask them are simply trying to make conversation or trying to figure out what is going on in my life. But most often they come across as judgements. They are statements declaring or reminding me that according to most of the world, my life has not begun yet because I am 25, single, and not sure what I want to do with my life. I am getting a Master’s degree I may never use. I  have yet to work at job that requires my college degree. I have traveled to several parts of the world, explored unknown places, made friends with people I just met, made friends that have changed my life, challenged myself on every turn, and usually keep a schedule that would make most people go crazy.   And yet, so often I feel like to most people my life is seemingly inconsequential because there is no ring on my finger. Ok, ok, I realize this is an exaggeration, but stick with me because I am making a point.

See, I am afraid we often do not realize what we are communicating when we talk or ask questions or create programs. We have bought into society’s mentality that life happens around “big” moments. Which is does. Those moments are very important. But they are not all-important. They are just that-moments. And those moments come and go and leave us waiting for the next one while wondering what is going on with people who have yet to hit those milestone moments. Sometimes they leave us discontent and wondering what is wrong with us. Why am I still single? Why did I never finish college? Why don’t I have my dream job? Why haven’t I had kids yet? What is wrong with me? To which I would respond:

NOTHING!

Repeat that. NOTHING.  See, we have to break the cycle. We have to smash the mold that says life begins at a certain point. Because some of us will never get married. And some of us will never graduate college. And some of us will never have kids. But all of us have an innate desire to live a life that has meaning and purpose and focus. So live that life.

Today I bought a shovel and seeds because I am going to plant a garden. I am working on homework for a Master’s degree that I love. I am studying for a test I have to take for my job. I get up every morning and work out with a group of people older, wiser, and wealthier than I will probably ever be. I am teaching myself how to cook. I am starting a side business to educate my community on the horrors of human trafficking. I am throwing off and giving up on the notion that life doesn’t begin until some point in the future. Honestly, I did this a long time ago. But it was much easier to live this out on my tiny island. It’s been much harder in southern Indiana where the normal age to get married is like 21 or something crazy like that. And it’s been much harder when well-meaning people seem to, perhaps unintentionally, discount me because I am single.

Surely I am not the only person who feels this way. So start today and determine to do something radical, different, and unique to you. I have used the last three years of my life to travel, grow, overcome fears, and experience new things. I am always taking on new challenges. So find a challenge. Read the blog of a guy like Joel Runyon. Make a goal that 30 days from now you will have lived to the fullest. You will have tackled a new challenge, done some spring cleaning, or just stopped complaining. Let’s commit to be content, satisfied, life-loving people who break the mold that life starts at some specific point in the future. Let’s start today appreciating each other for who we are and where we are. Each stage in life is unique and exciting so live each one up and know that the next “big” thing will come at the exact right moment, and not a second sooner. So stop waiting for it and start living.

I am. Will you?