Most people probably have mixed and perhaps strong feelings on the topic of astrology. I do not believe in it, do not read my daily horoscope, or really ever pay any attention to it. But from a personality standpoint, oftentimes it is dead on. I have rarely held a job for longer than a year. And the few that I have had for longer than that, have been just one of many jobs I have worked during that time. I changed my major four times in college. I change my mind like the wind changes and I have as many interests as there are colors. I have always had this restlessness. unfortunately, I have not always had a name for it or known how to deal with it. And I am sure that there are many people in my life who have been hurt at one point or another by this part of me. Not that I do it on purpose, but I am sure my inability to sit still, settle down, or relax has stepped on someone’s toes. It is probably why I have had so many relationships that have ended poorly, why roommate situations never worked out quite right, and why the longest friend I have had is almost 10 years my elder. I just get bored. And restless. And people take it personally. But usually I am not bored with them, usually I am just restless. So yesterday I ran across this on my Twitter.
A #Sagittarius needs to recognize that their eternal restlessness is a personal issue, not a relationship issue.
As I read about that, I thought about where I am. My soul is restless; perhaps even anxious. But for what reason, I cannot explain. I love my job, I am so thankful for my friends, and living in southern Indiana is not all bad. In fact, the leaves are starting to change and its starting to feel like fall. I think though, that my soul is not restless because of circumstances. You could put me anywhere, change everything, and I will still feel the same. So why the restlessness?
I think it is just who I am. I think it is why I can work two jobs, go to school, run, hang out with my friends, and still find time to do a myriad of other things. I think it is why I spare time researching ways to fight human trafficking, am so interested in social justice, and so passionately care about those issues. I know it is why I am sometimes difficult to get along with and even more difficult to understand. Because my restlessness is not about relationships, it’s just part of who I am. It has nothing to do with what I am doing, who I spend my time with, or even the geographical location I am living. And it probably is not going to change. I think I will always be a restless, wanderer at heart. It does not mean I will always wander, it just means I will always find something to do, a cause to support, or a race to run. It is who I am. And as I get older, I am finding ways to handle it better than packing up and moving, bailing on relationships, or quitting. I am learning to use the restlessness for good, to accomplish more, do more, and love more.
