My mom pointed out something today that I have always known to be true. I struggle very much with just being wherever I am. I am always planning the next step. I have to know what is next. The next job, career choice, move etc. I don’t know why. I mean, I have been this way since I was very young. I usually have my summers figured out by October. I have never gone more than a week without a job. I have rarely ever not known the next step… until now.
I am here in Saipan and I can, for the first time in my life, say I have NO idea what the next step is. I have no clue what I want to do with my life. I change my mind about every 5 minutes and at the end of it, simply have no idea what is next. And I just wish I could figure out how to just be here. How to stop worrying about the future, or what’s next, or having a plan. So what I come home in May with no plan? Is that a bad thing? What if I don’t figure out what I want to do with my life for awhile? What if the things I am currently passionate about are not conducive to a career or a job? Is that really a big deal?
I am trying to convince myself that it is not..it is not going to be easy and like my mom said, “maybe God took you to the other side of the world to teach you just that.”
