Clarity

So classes started last week..and on Monday I had a minor freak out over what I was doing with my life. After being reassured by several people that I was not crazy nor was this the last time I would question why I was doing what I was doing, I came up with a plan for school. Mind you this plans includes taking an extra semester to graduate, it will set me up to be in the best position to do what I want to do. Go to graduate school and work towards a phD in Economics. While I was settled on school, I still had this nagging feeling that I had just made a terrible mistake and ruined God’s plan for my life by following what I wanted. I have prayed a lot about this plan and sought God’s direction, but for awhile felt that maybe this was just my dream. However, I am good at Economics and I love school. I understand the subject and don’t want to stop learning about it. I also love college students and really want to become a professor. This is not preparing me for an easy life as academia can be a dark place where Christians are not often welcomed because Christianity is not seen as intelligent. It is not seen as the thinking man’s religion. It is a career that will cause to be in the world and to have to put on my armor daily. But God has not called me to an easy life. He has placed a restlessness in my soul to seek the extraordinary and to fight for the impossible.

So on to my moment of clarity. We have been going through a series at church called The Truth Project. It is put on by Focus on the Family and I would definately reccommend it. Last night the topic was Economics and was the night I had been looking foward to since we started. ( I realize this makes me a nerd..) The speaker was explaining how work was designed by God and was created in the image of God. God worked and thus we must work. Genesis 2:2. He also pointed out that we should work where we are gifted. After much more eloquent words, it clicked. I was not crazy nor unbiblical for wanting to seek higher education in Economics. God has gifted me in this area and I feel called me to be a light in the dark world of universities. I Cor. 10:31 says, “whatever you do, do it for the glory of God.” Whatever you do. Not if you go into full-time ministry. Not if you become a missionary. But in whatever you do, glorify God. So once again I was at a crossroad of whether I am going to follow what I believe or follow what other people think I should believe. I have a passion for the subject and for the people I will be working with. I believe those things are God-given desires. I believe that pursuing this path is what I should be doing and I will continue to pursue it until God closes a door or opens a window. Maybe I am a little crazy-but God can work with crazy too 🙂