Get back up..

I am utterly amazed how many curveballs life throws at you. I know God never intended it to be easy, but I at least thought it would be manageable. And I know it is, but sometimes I feel like everytime I get my bearings, something else comes and knocks the wind right out of my sails. I am supposed to be studying business law..but my mind is so full of thoughts I can’t focus. I am hoping after this I will be able to concentrate on the Constitution. 🙂

So do you ever wonder why people are so thick-headed sometimes. I have realized that I think some people just don’t want to accept that what people are saying is exactly what they think. I am getting tired of my life. I am losing that excitement and joy and passion that I want. I was talking to someone today and they told me just not to care..but that is the last thing I want to do. I want to care..if you stop caring, you lose a reason for living. And you hurt everyone else around you in the process. I want to have passion in my life. I want to have joy and fulfillment. The problem is..I look for it in all the wrong places.

I started reading this book called The Search of Significance. Last night, I was reading it and it hit me..I am trying so hard to find my worth and significance in this world. But I keep looking for it in other people. Which is a sad pursuit. But as soon as I try to search for it in Christ, something comes that knocks me back a few steps. I see that person that I desperately want to mean something to. Or that person who I want to be friends with and yet seem to always fall short. Or do worse then I thought on something school related..etc. And I am once again hit with the obvious fact that I am searching for my significance in the wrong places.

So I am going to care..it is my nature. and I am going to be passionate about life. But I am going to find my passion and significance in the one who made me..not in that person who never really cared to begin with..or in the person who will fail me..but in the one Person who will NEVER leave nor forsake me! How amazing is that!

back to studying..I think I can focus now:)