God gave me what I want. Or what I thought I wanted. It was the thing I had dreamed about for so long, and finally it was mine. But now I didn’t want it..I had taken things into my own hands and had determined that I knew better-only to realize that all along God had only wanted the best for me, and wasn’t withholding something from me that I needed.
Isn’t that how it always happens? we want something so bad and God finally says, “Ok, you can have it,” and we promptly realize that God did know better and it really wasn’t what we wanted. This is a scary thought. The bible talks about how God gave them over to their sinful desires and let them do what they pleased-I don’t know about you..but I don’t want God to give me over to my sinful desires. I am thankful that thus far He has not allowed me to get too far into sin before providing escape and opening my eyes-and I pray that I never get to a place where God says, “ok, fine-do what you please.” I want to always be at a place where I am willing to wait on God’s timing so that when I do get it, it is better then I could have ever dreamed of or got on my own.
4 Comments
Erin Wilson
You're wise, girl! I still struggle with this WAY TOO OFTEN.
When you get a handle on it… so many other struggles melt away. **sigh**
Keep goin'! You're an inspiration for those (like me) walking along side.
Amanda
wow..thanks for the comment..it was the biggest encouragement and came right when I needed one..
Moi
That is a scary thought that God would give in to me despite knowing better.
There a few points I have seen this happen in my life and it is never good – though I soon realize the inadvisability of my initial hopes.
When I read this post, what came to mind was when the people were clamboring for a king and God after numerous warnings finally gave in to this demand.
Dreaming again
Mine wasn't a sinful desire he didn't give me, it was a hearts desire. He gave me what I really wanted,not what I thought I wanted.
I was told on October 14, 1988 that God was going to give me the family that I wanted. Now, just 2 months before that, I'd lost a baby girl at 20 weeks pregnant and had been told I could not carry full term.
A few months later, I was pregnant .. I was so excited. I was waiting for little girls with black curly hair and dark brown eyes that I'd dress in pink and put bows in their hair …
October 14, 1989, a year to the day after I was told I'd have my family, and 2 weeks past my due date … my oldest son was born.
2 years 2 months later, my youngest son was born.
what happened to my girls God? Where's my curly hair and ribbons?
And I love my boys …and I love being the mother of boys … and I crash the mother and daughter sleep over every year and I have an absolute ball and walk out of there year thanking GOD THAT HE GAVE ME BOYS!!!!!!