Guys. Good grades. Friends. Cheerleading. Being liked.
That’s what I wanted. That’s what I was aiming for. I was consumed by “I” and “me”. I had built up so much bitterness, pride, and anger-I couldn’t do anything without thinking about how this would help me or how this would hurt someone who hurt me. It was an awful way to live. I know I hurt people I didn’t mean to. I know I said and did things I shouldn’t have. And I know more then anything, that it saddened God. Then last night, I was talking with a friend and I realized how much I needed to get my life in order. This morning I woke up and read my bible for the first time in awhile. I opened to Hebrews chapter 11. It is probably my favorite chapter of the bible. As I read through all the accounts of men and women who had great faith I realized I was lacking majorly. I didn’t even have enough faith to trust God with my college decisions, my relationships, my time-I wanted full control because I figured I knew it all. I could do it on my own. But God quickly showed me I can’t do it. I will simply fail miserably every time I try to take a step without God. So I gave it all up. I decided I was giving everything over to God. I don’t want control of it anymore. I can’t do it on my own, and it’s time I stop trying. It was like a huge burden was lifted. I haven’t been this at peace in a long time. So God’s gonna have to make it real clear the steps He wants me to take cuz I’m not taking another one on my own. I want to have faith that moves mountains. I want to have faith that says, “God is good” even in the midst of trials. And I challenge you-let God have 100% control of your life. It’ll be the best decision you ever make.
Just a thought..
Amanda
